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  #31  
Old 04-15-2014, 12:39 PM
Focal Focal is offline
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Slave Ron,

The beatings on your feet to where you can't walk are dangerous to the point where you are going to need help. You might have to find another place to live. The only suggestion is either family or wait until payday and don't go back to her. You might have to file charges against her to keep her away from you. She is crazy so she might do anything and it isn't safe after you leave to go back alone.
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  #32  
Old 04-15-2014, 6:05 PM
submissive_male4u submissive_male4u is offline
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I would encourage to stay... i think if you continue to serve her correctly, things will go well. i think being a beautiful lady she is, she deserves to be served correctly... and you are very lucky to be with her. if you quit, i will replace you.

where is she located?
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  #33  
Old 04-15-2014, 6:13 PM
spankme1 spankme1 is offline
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Originally Posted by submissive_male4u View Post
I would encourage to stay... i think if you continue to serve her correctly, things will go well. i think being a beautiful lady she is, she deserves to be served correctly... and you are very lucky to be with her. if you quit, i will replace you.

where is she located?
He's been serving her correctly for over two years. She's just making up excuses so she can beat the fuck out of him. If you read his posts, she makes up totally subjective and unmeasurable criticisms, i.e., "you aren't massaging my feet correctly." Notice every justification she has to beating him isn't measurable or quantifiable in any way. She just wants to inhumanely torture him no matter what.

Ron, get out of there before you get yourself killed. PM me if you want to talk discreetly. If you do PM me, do it in private/incognito mode so she can't read your PMs.
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  #34  
Old 04-16-2014, 12:54 PM
submissive_male4u submissive_male4u is offline
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i like her personality... i would dream to have a Mistress like her.
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  #35  
Old 04-16-2014, 6:39 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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Originally Posted by spankme1 View Post
Dude, get the fuck out of there immediately. She does not give a fuck about you. She is physically and mentally damaging you beyond repair. Each day you stay with her will only result in more permanent damage. If you really want to, try to negotiate part time slavery because it sounds like that's what you want. Tell her the two years are up and you don't need to do this anymore. It sounds like she doesn't care about your feelings so it's probably useless to bring up how it's making you feel. She will either negotiate or tell you to leave. At that point, LEAVE! There are many dommes out there who will CARE about you as a person and won't leave lasting psychological damage. What you are experiencing is Stockholm Syndrome. GET OUT.
I think much of what you are saying is correct but I still have all these concerns and I cannot seem to just leave when it comes down to it. One day I think I should just leave and the next I don’t think I can. For one I am also truly obsessed with her, her beauty and everything about her. If I did not serve her I would not serve any other woman. I have no interest in serving another woman and this is not about me wanting to live a femdom/sub lifestyle. It is only about wanting her. It has always been about that. I also find it extraordinary in itself that she has been successfully able to own me as slave and have such a normal and well-rounded life in every other way. She is extremely smart, motivated, professionally successful with an excellent job (executive managerial position by the way), very outgoing, and even well off as she comes from a lot of money. She only got into the dom stuff along with some modeling gigs as a way to make a little extra money during the time she was in graduate school. It was only a short time she had done it and only started because a friend was doing it at the time. But in truth she really did not even need the extra money and so I came to realize a lot of the reason she was doing it is because she actually loves to dominate, humiliate, and control men. You see this has attracted me to her even more. If you saw her out you would just think she is like any other woman. I’m sure you would think she is incredibly gorgeous and might suspect she was a model or something, but other than that you would just see a beautiful outgoing smart woman. Little would you know she actually owns a slave at home that is shackled, beaten and tortured on a daily basis and is living every moment in fear serving her. You would not suspect she can be so cruel, merciless and creative in the way she disciplines and tortures just to get the most benefit from her slave. You may gather that she is naturally an extroverted and has a strong presence and naturally dominating personality after spending some time with her but you would not imagine she owns an actual slave that literally kisses the ground she walks on and suffers and cry’s at her feet for mercy. You would not suspect that she comes home every day to someone that works effortlessly cooking, cleaning, massaging, chauffeuring, and doing virtually anything she wants. And most of all you would not suspect she was able to whip someone so bloody and raw with such eloquence and mercilessness for their mistakes. Unfortunately I have become somewhat obsessed with her ability to do this all so naturally and with so much class even though I am the one that suffers. It is very fascinating despite suffering so much and in this way it makes it difficult to leave her.

Not to mention I also think most of the time she is correct to beat me for my mistakes. I complain often but perhaps I am really the only one to blame for this. If I would not make these errors than maybe I would not suffer so much and if I can satisfy her more than I think she may be more lax with me and punish me less harshly. I do not expect to change the way she treats me completely but maybe enough to make my treatments less harsh? I wonder and can only hope this may be the case one day. Most times I think I probably just need to try harder and serve her better. After all she deserves to punish me and treat me like this if she is not satisfied doesn’t she? She has laid out rules for good reason and is enforcing them only to make me a better slave. I have signed up for this after all and even though it was more harsh than I ever imagined I knew ahead of time I was going to be treated like a slave, not like some sub in a femdom session. And there is also the point that she is so beautiful and gorgeous that I sometimes feel she should be entitled to torture me all day everyday if she wanted.

But it is true she is doing a number on me. I am probably in denial a lot about how bad it is. My life is regimented and disciplined to a very intense degree and even my behaviors, manners, and service has been groomed to such perfection that I probably resemble some battered captive. And it is all because of fear and punishment. Even her friends have commented that it is very shocking to see how submissive and fearful I am in her presence. They said my behaviors were “ritualistic” and “programmed by fear” and it was the “epitome of absolute slavery”. And of course it was funny to them and they congratulated her but it is actually very true. She has molded me and punished every step of the way (especially this last year) so that I will not dare make the same mistakes twice and will go to the most extreme lengths to makes sure she is satisfied and happy at all times. I’ve been somewhat aware of the mental transformation I have made over this time but did not truly recognize how deeply molded and engrained my behaviors have become and how I have become so frightened to fall short of completing my duties and serving her with flawlessness.

I have learned the hard way that everything in the house must remain spotless, clean, and perfectly mainted at all times. I will not dare forget to bring her clothes to cleaners, forget to restock the wine cabinet, clean the pool, scrub the floors, ect. There is a schedule deadline and time that everything gets done and there are no second chances and no excuses for failure. It is always punishment and pain that reminds me of my responsibilities. It is also pain and punishment that runs through my head every time I am put at her feet. There is nothing quite like my manners and my behavior at her feet as it is a display of worship, praise and servitude that cannot be created without having suffered very harsh consequences. It was not really like this during the first year and half when I was serving her but then everything began to change. I went through a very long period of time being told that I was not displaying a deep enough sense of appreciation and worship and was tortured and whipped over and over again until I presented myself with what she felt was enough “gratitude” and “mercy”. I was no longer able to sit shackled at her feet or massage them without fearing some type of punishment. Now I do everything I can possible do through body language, demeanor, and follow all the rules she has outlined especially when I am placed at her feet knowing how crucial a moment it is because it is where my punishment will be decided. And this is not just during foot massages but simply anytime I am on all fours shackled at her feet. It is always here that my fate lies in her hands and it is the only place I can be lucky enough to redeem myself for any errors. If I do not bow to her with my hands several times and passionately kiss each of her feet when I first present myself or do not keep my hands flat on the floor with my head faced to ground at her feet waiting very still for further instructions she will add to my torture. If she addresses me with a question and I do not answer correctly or answer with the wrong tone of voice she will add to my torture. If she asks me to remove her heels and I do not thank her before I begin doing this she will add to my punishment. She has made rules to every single thing I do. Everything. It is simply… “slave what did I tell you about keeping your palms flat on the ground when you first present yourself? I am adding 30 lashes to your punishment” or “I do not like the expression on your face today slave. Are you not grateful to be here?” . It is so intense that sometimes I can be shaking, tearing or even crying as I go through this, especially if the punishment and lashes are adding up quickly. All I can do is beg and say please over and over again and continue to kiss her feet until she has mercy.

And then she will begin to explain what chores I did not do to her satisfaction over the last couple days and then I will either be lucky enough to massage her feet or she will begin to carry out my punishment. And when I say lucky enough to massage her feet, I do NOT mean lucky because it is sexually arousing (although it can be in a major way)…. I mean lucky just because it bides me more time before being punished and there is always the chance she will enjoy it enough to reduce some of my punishment. Of course there is always a chance she won’t be in which case I will be punished even more, but I am still lucky and grateful for this chance. You must understand there is really only two situations I am in her close presence. Of course there are some exceptions but generally speaking I am either worshiping, massaging and licking her feet or I am being tortured. That is it. Not much else goes on when I am close in her presence. So as frightening as it can be to be instructed to rub her feet for fear of not satisfying her, I am still very grateful for this chance to serve her and satisfy her. It doesn't have to be that way. She could have me curled up in chains in a corner somewhere being brutally whipped and begging for just the chance to massage her feet so I can get a break from the beating.

And this brings up another point…. I often complain of my punishments but sometimes I think I should be more grateful that they are not worse. For a long time I did not understand that i was actually fortunate and lucky to be treated the way I am. Yes it is cruel to sleep in shackles and I do complain but it could really be a lot worse. This is really nothing compared to what she is capable of putting through so I often think I should just accept more and keep my mouth shut. You do not realize that I can be forced to sleep scrunched in a fetal position all night with a spider gag in my mouth and a metal collar bar that runs from my neck and arms down to my legs. I can be beaten and forced to sleep naked and chained on a spiked mat or sleep on sand paper and stinging nettles all night. I can sleep in a bucket of her urine and feces or sleep chained in metal cage with clothes pins on every inch of body. Not all this has happened (much of it actually has) but my point is that I used to think I was being treated cruelly and I did not really understand what cruel is. I learned quickly that there are infinite options that I can be tortured with and my mistress is creative enough and merciless enough to think of them and put me through it should i not satisfy her or disrespect her in any way. She truly enjoys watching me suffer so it is not difficult.

Yes I still complain, but sometime I think I should just be grateful for my punishments and the freedom I do have. It is sometimes hard for me to accept the way things are but maybe they are really not that bad. I don’t know. I do know I can be chained up crying in the basement right now being whipped and tortured with a cattle prod while I eat canned dog food from her feet (and this has been done many times before ) , but I am not and I am very very grateful and thankful for this. I have recently started to thank her on the nights she does not beat me. And believe me when I say there is deep passion and gratitude in my voice when I kiss her feet and thank her for not punishing me. My point is I think sometimes I am just complaining too much and should just be grateful things are not worse. But really I don’t know what to think anymore.

Perhaps there is two sides to this or maybe there is not. Maybe I am truly brainwashed and foolish to stay with her. Whatever it is, it’s always nice to share some of these hardships here and get different opinions and feedback.
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  #36  
Old 04-16-2014, 6:55 PM
Focal Focal is offline
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When I read about the beatings on your feet it was too much for me. She is basically a sadist and if you are a masochist then you can take it but when it gets to the point you can't walk for 10 days or your feet hurt that badly it is abuse. She doesn't love you so that type of relationship wouldn't work for me. She probably will dump you when she finds someone as rich as she is and give up being a domme. That is my guess and it depends on your ages.

This is one of the more extreme stories I read and part of me wishes it was just a story but some things sound very real.
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  #37  
Old 04-16-2014, 6:59 PM
submissive_male4u submissive_male4u is offline
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I think you should continue this way, as she is beautiful, sexy, and successful, and you are so lucky to be with her. Who else could give you the chance to be at the presence of such a wonderful woman? I think you should do your best to serve her... and think about being close to her, making her happy, so that there would be a chance for you to marry her...
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  #38  
Old 04-17-2014, 1:36 PM
spankme1 spankme1 is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SlaveRon View Post
Maybe I am truly brainwashed and foolish to stay with her.
100% true

Quote:
Originally Posted by Focal View Post
She doesn't love you so that type of relationship wouldn't work for me. She probably will dump you when she finds someone as rich as she is and give up being a domme. That is my guess and it depends on your ages.
100% true. Ask yourself this Ron: does she have it in her to be your mistress every day FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE? The answer is probably not. She will get tired of it eventually. If she loved you then maybe but she doesn't even love you or give a single fuck about you. What makes you think she wants to do this her whole life if she doesn't love you? What if she wants to get married/have kids? What if she wants to relocate?

Not only are you a slave to this women, but you are a slave to your own emotions. There should be no reason why you want to serve her if she is giving you NOTHING in return. No emotional support, no sexual gratification, NOTHING.

This truly baffles me.
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  #39  
Old 05-06-2014, 8:23 PM
Focal Focal is offline
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Ron,

What has happened, are you still with her or left?
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  #40  
Old 05-08-2014, 11:50 PM
thesboy thesboy is offline
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you signed on to be a total slave...quit your whining. Slaves are property. She only cares about getting the most use out of you without having to worry about your feelings or anything other than criminal negligence. To be honest i don't believe a whiner like you could be a real slave. This is just your fantasy pulling others in to fuel it. Duh.
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  #41  
Old 05-10-2014, 1:17 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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Haven't been able to get on here much due to difficult schedule but finally have some time to give an update and respond to some of the comments.


I have not yet had the courage to leave so things remain relatively unchanged. Spankme1 I tend to agree that I have virtually no shot at marrying this woman or having any real future with her. Maybe I didn’t realize this in the beginning but I do know this now. What happened though is I got into a pattern of being hopeful and fooling myself into believing I can change her into caring more about me and maybe one day having a real relationship with me.. Wishful thinking I guess. I was just thinking if I can continue to serve her unconditionally and obey her she may start to see me differently, have more respect for me, grant me more privileges, have more intimacy with me, etc.

Now I see the errors of my ways cause all that’s happened is she has become more strict with me, punishing me harsher and treating me worse overtime. I did not think it would ever get this bad. But I do feel foolish because it was spelled out from the beginning that this would be true slavery and nothing else. So I agree it was quite stupid of me to think I can change a woman who’s only interest is benefiting from my personal service and slavery. It was also stupid to think I could have a more intimate relationship with someone who beats me and tortures me relentlessly for minor mistakes. I know she gets off from this, but it has nothing to do with me. She could probably punish any male and get the same high she gets from doing it to me. In fact, being beaten so badly and crying like this has probably put me in a less attractive light anway. It is very often she sees me in these very pathetic states…. crying like a baby to her slobbering at her feet bowing worshiping and begging for her mercy to no end. I know this does not make me attractive at all. She will never be in a real relationship with someone she has degraded and humlated so badly like this. She gets off on it but there is a difference between getting off from “punishing in general” and getting of because you are punishing someone specific who you have some attraction or feelings toward. Well my point is that I have spent a long time watching my time in service unfold into something I never thought it would. But now that I have been accusomted to obeying her and serving her like this I know of nothing else. I know of no other life right now either. And there is no other way to be in her life if I do not accept the role she has put me in. I still find mental difficulty in leaving her despite suffering emotionally and physically. I’m sure it is difficult to see to understand for anyone on here who advised leaving, but I often feel I do not have any choice anymore. I believe my opportunity to leave has come and gone. So I’ve just been doing the best I can and doing the only thing I can do to have any control over the situation… serving her and obeying her to the best of my abilities. Doing everything I can do to make her happy and praying she is merciful for my errors. As far as the way things have been going since my last post… it has really been the same with the exception of being somewhat more isolated and shackled more regularly. I still feel frustrated with this the most…. Having to sleep like this and waiting every morning for her to come in my room and unlock me is tiring and exhauasing. Now she has instructed that I am up in the morning an hour before she usually comes in to take the shackles off. She wants me up at 6:30am kneeling and waiting for her to come in. The issue is that she can come in anytime between 6:30 and 7:30 so sometimes I am waiting an entire hour for her. And I can not to do anything but kneel in silence. She comes in, I bow to her, kiss both of her feet, say goodmorning and she takes the shackles off. That is really the extent of my interaction in the morning with her. Sometimes she will remind me of extra things she needs done that day in addition to my normal routine of duties but that is it. As far as punishments in the last few weeks, there was only one really bad one, but I believe I have not been getting punished as much because I have been getting all my chores done and also because I have been showering her with gifts, clothes, jewelry, and shoes for the last few weeks. I admit I have been doing this in an effort to make her happy so I can avoid punishment and I think it is helping although I am somewhat ashamed of myself for taking this route. There is nothing quite like spending a ton of money on very expensive heels just so you don’t get beaten and tortured.

Still though there was one bad punishment but it was truly my fault because I forgot to pick up another bottle of lotion which ran out in the middle of giving a full body massage. I had been warned last time that it was running low and to pick a new bottle up which I had forgotten to do. Needless to say, she made me stop in in the middle of the massage, drive out and get a new bottle and when I came back she whipped the hell out of me before allowing me to resume the massage. So what could have been a very enjoyable experience of massaging her amazing naked body all night turned out to be a night from hell. By the time she was done with me my body was completely ripped up and shredded all over from the whipping. It was a very unusual experience caressing her beautiful soft body, breasts, legs, feet to perfection with my body throbbing and swelling in very bad pain. I was shaking and terrified the entire time when I could have been actually enjoying the night had I not forgot this,. But this really was my fault so I can not really say it was unfair treatment. I should have known better really. So this is the update for now. As always thanks for the suggestions and comments.
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  #42  
Old 05-14-2014, 1:03 PM
submissive_male4u submissive_male4u is offline
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Thank you for the update... well, if I were you, I would remain hopeful for the marriage... as you know, she would be very happy if you take the initiative and engage in a more intimate or romantic relationship...

Have you tried to buy her flowers? What about some surprise gifts? Would you like to give it a try?

From what I have read so far, she does not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend yet... that leaves room for your actions...
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  #43  
Old 06-01-2014, 4:52 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by submissive_male4u View Post
Thank you for the update... well, if I were you, I would remain hopeful for the marriage... as you know, she would be very happy if you take the initiative and engage in a more intimate or romantic relationship...

Have you tried to buy her flowers? What about some surprise gifts? Would you like to give it a try?

From what I have read so far, she does not have a boyfriend or a girlfriend yet... that leaves room for your actions...
It's a good idea take more initiative but it is not really in my power to do so. It was my intention that things would progress to something more intimate or romantic overtime but there is really no chance of this now. The only thing I will be able to do is serve her until she meets someone that she wants to settle down with. And I am sure she will eventually find someone to be with, There is long line of men in her life that would give anything to be with her and i believe almost any man would give there right arm to be with her.

If you saw my role now you would see how there is no chance of me having any real relationship with her. I am not even treated humanely. I have no rights or privileges at all anymore and have very little interaction with her outside of serving her. She has taken away all aspects of a normal life to the point that I really feel like a jailed prisoner. She no longer communicates with me and does not allow me to even speak unless spoken to. When I am not working on chores I am shackled kneeling in silence and waiting for her orders. The only other interaction or contact I have with her is rubbing her feet and giving her massages which must be done to her liking or I will be punished extremely bad. I really mean very severe punishment for this. You have probably read from some previous posts how cruel these tortures can be. So bad I have had nightmares about it. It is to the point where I spend virtually every second I am caressing her feet praying she is satisfied and at the first sign of her dissatisfaction begin apologizing pleading and begging for mercy so much that I am almost in tears. Many times kissing her feet over and over again and endlessly saying sorry. It is not normal behavior at all and I know how damaging it is to live like this all the time. I just know that once she is dissatisfied and has set a punishment there is nothing I can do to change her mind so my initial reaction is very extreme just to try and stop her from committing to a punishment because once something has been decided there is absolutely nothing I can do to change her mind. I really dislike this and it sometimes terrorizing to have so little control in the face of someone who can be so ruthless and merciless. It is these moments I can get so panicked that she will sometimes have to remind me to refocus and continue rubbing her feet or I will make her more unhappy which will make the punishment worse. Sadly there have been times when I have learned this the hard way having been unable to control myself or having been so apologetic at the expense of her foot massager that I ended up costing myself punishments that lasted for days with very little rest. You can only imagine how this affected my behavior the weeks following everytime she rested her feet in my hands. This sort of thing becomes a cycle that is difficult to break. The more harshly I am punished the easier it is to let the fear affect my service which only ends up costing me more punishment in the end.

As I mentioned it was not this extreme when I started serving her but has become like this now and I don't have any way to chAnge the situation anymore. Anytime I have requested more freedom i have been punished and put back in line. The more I push for privileges the harder and more severe my punishments are and the less free time she allows me. The more I have pleaded for time out of shackles the more she has kept me in them. I am locked up almost around the clock no unless i am doing chores and more often she even makes me do chores in chains or restraining devices which is painful and slows me down.

When I first started serving her i had some real moments with her and sometimes I thought she felt some feelings or attraction towards me but there is none of this anymore. I long for those moments again. But It has not been like this for very long now. That is why I am on here so often complaining that I want to leave. There is no quality of life living this way. Yes I am obsessed with her but I want something I will never have from her. She has many interests in life and I am not one of them. She does often date other men which is really hard for me to see and Interestingly enough her relationships with these men are completely normal and there is really no femdom or anything like that. I don't know what goes on behind closed doors but it is not her whipping these men bloody. It is really hard to see how different her interaction is with them. It is normal interaction and normal relationship. Something I have always wanted and thought I can get by serving her and then having it develop into something real. In truth I failed miserably at this and she was smart enough to mold me into workhouse that has absolutely no purpose in life outside of serving her and begging for mercy.

I can buy her gifts all day long and it won't change anything except I might be tortured less or whipped a little less. But there is really nothing I can't give her that she doesn't have or can't get from me. I have no cards left to play anymore. The only thing I can do is leave but then I am out of her life and still cant face this.

I really have not been getting punished too severely the last couple months so I am really lucky for that but this does not change that I am still terrified all the time for making mistakes. I carry a constant fear knowing she can and will beat me if she is unhappy. This is the worst part of it all. Truthfully i have such great difficulty in her presence now that a lot of times I think I might rather not be if I had a choice. Even when she enters a room now I tense up so badly that I can barely catch my breath. Dropping to my knees and bowing with so much intensity that it would probably look disturbing to most people. But that is becuase they do not understand what will happen if I even fail to properly greet her. The intensity of every moment and task is how I know I must leave but still there is difficulty with this and i dont know why I think I would be unable to live and feel normal without serving her since it is all I have known for many years now. It is complicated. I do like the suggestions on here as I am always desperately searching for a way out of this so thank you for the comments and suggestions.
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  #44  
Old 07-03-2014, 8:36 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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I wanted to post an update and share the latest with anyone who may wish to read. Before reading any further however I would like to please caution anyone from reading further who may have difficulty with a life of very severe slavery and punishment. I don't know if this is for everyone and would imagine there are people who have a hard time reading about this lifestyle and the sacrifices, helplessness and tortures that come with it. The idea that someone would subject themselves to this lifestyle in the first place may be disturbing and I am sure there are some readers who have been following these posts for a while now that feel I have lost my ability to see things clearly and make rational decisions after being abused for so long. There may be some truth to this. I don't know but I am trying to do whatever I can to make the best of my situation and the only way I can do this right now is by obeying my mistress and following orders. if I do not dissapoint her I stand a much greater chance at being treated humanly. If not there is no question my failures will result in severe punishment and torture but I am determined to do everything I can to please her and make her happy until I can figure another way out of the situation and a way out of my slavery.

I did want to share a story from last week in which my mistress had reinforced the importance of my role as a slave to her feet by punishing me in what I felt was a particularly cruel manner keeping me chained in solitary confinement for 8 days. Additionally I was deprived of food for the first 5 days until she was kind enough to serve me small meals crushed up under her feet. The punishment in her words... "was designed to make me more appreciative and grateful of her feet and a better footslave". As usual it was decided after a bad foot massage which initially was dealt with by a belting and paddling to my ass and thighs but since she did not feel this was effective in making me realize the importance of serving her feet properly it had been decided that she would make me appreciate them much more if she starved me for days before feeding me from them. "Slave I can guarantee that you will be more appreciative of my feet when they are the only thing feeding you". I did not initially understand what she meant until i gave it some thought and then it occurred to me that I was going to be restrained in the basement for days and left their to starve until she decided to feed me meals from her feet. I was correct. The punishment was just as extreme as I imagined it would be. It is true I have not had too many extreme punishments in the last few months and I feel guilty to complain but still the punishment was bad enough that it once again left me terified and shaken up enough to want to share the story here. I would like to say that earlier in the year I had been torturted to tears almost daily for failing to properly serve her feet or failing to properly present myself at her feet so I am grateful I am not tOrtured like this everyday now and glad that there has been some clear improvement but still it is disheartening to take a step backwards again. The issue I really have is that I do not feel the foot massage given was bad enough to warrant this punishment however I I know that there were other factors and mistakes that had also contributed to the punishment so I have tried to take this into consideration as a reason for such harsh treatment. It is true I had forgotten some responsibilities and did make some careless errors when doing chores during the week prior to the punishment. Even though it was not explicitly stated these errors were to blame for the punishment I know it had played a role and that the bad foot massage was just an excuse and final straw that forced this punshiment. And I would also like to say for better or worse that I have learned my lesson and I will never ever make those same mistakes again and will continue to try to do whatever I need to do to make my mistresses foot massages thoroughly enjoyable.

But I must admit this punishment like many of the other extremely painful punishments I have been given was extremely effective in reminding me there are consequences of failing to satisfy her in any way. In some ways this particular punishment may have even been more effective than some of the physically painful tortures and whippings I had endured because it seemed to have a more damaging psychological effect on me. Since this punishment I have spent almost every second of my day checking that all my chores have been done perfectly. And more so, I have rehearsed every last behavior and ritual that must be done when I am instructed to give her a foot massage. Above all I have made every effort to appear most grateful and appreciative when I am at her feet.

It is true the punishment has made it much more terrifying knowing she can and will a beat me and starve me like this for days. It was very difficult to say the least. When you have not eaten for 5 days you will do a lot for a meal and eating from the soles and feet of your mistress will be a blessing and a gift. By the fifth day I was so hungry I was begging for a meal and when I was finally fed it was an extremely small portion. Days 5 through 8 was no more than little morsals fed to me from her feet like i was an animal. In many ways it was very cruel to be deprived like this and treated like this. In truth I did not really need reinforcing of my role as a footslave as I have spent the last several years knowing my service to her feet is the most important responsibilty in my slave life. I thoroughly understand the meaning of foot slave like no one else could possibly understand. Having virtually every punshiment dependent upon the quality of a foot massage or my manners at her feet. Being beaten so incredibly bad for violating one of the million rules she has created when I am even sitting at her feet.

I did not need any reinforcement and if you have read any of my previous posts you would probably have seen this. Me rubbing her feet or sitting at her feet has also become my only contact and interaction with her this last year. And really it is not just my only contact with her but with my only contact with anyone at all. I would never ever delibretley do a poor job rubbing her feet or be lazy or appear ungrateful toward the one thing that my entire life was built around. So I really felt it was unfair that she felt I needed to be punished more like this at this time. She knows I would never ever purposely do something that I know could have such painful consequences but It was clear she was doing this partly because she loved to torture me. She knew I did not deserve it. It was really unfair but she was set on starving me till I groveled like an animal to be fed whether I gave a bad foot massage or not. I am convinced she had desired to torture me like this no matter what.
It was a terribly lonely isolating and long first 5 days chained up with no food at all just water. Then each of the last 4 nights (nights 5 through 8) she would taunt me with her feet resting over a bowl of crushed fruit and yogurt saying... "Slave would you like me to feed you now? I bet you are learning very quickly to have a much deeper appreciation of my feet aren't you?"
She would keep me restrained instructing me to stare at them as she rubbed them lightly over the only food I had seen in days. "Would you like a taste now slave? First tell me how much you love my feet and how you are grateful for them. "
She instructed me to move a bit closer as I crawled to her in roughly 7 different restraining devices and shackles. I was restrained so tightly I could not move my legs, arms, hands at all and shuffled on my knees closer to her. I could barely even move my head it was locked so tight in place.
"Now wait and follow my instructions slave or you won't get any of this. If you are out of line I will spend the rest of the night whipping you bloody instead of feeding you. Now open your mouth and stick out tounge."
She dipped her toes in yogurt and began rubbing it over my lips and tounge. "Do not lick yet slave." She paused to rest her yogurt covered toes on my tounge. "I bet you are dieing to begin eating now aren't you? Does it smell good?"
I could barely contain myself any longer and was dieing to lick my lips, swallo, and begin eating but I knew if I even made one motion without her command it was all over. Finally after torturing me like this for what felt like an eternity rubbing yogurt all over my mouth and lips she finally allowed me to slowly begin licking the yogurt from her feet. It tasted so incredibly good I felt like I was i heaven and I began thanking her immediately as I continued wrapping my mouth around each of her toes and cleaning every last morsal from them. "Don't leave a single spot slave or I will take it to mean you are not grateful for my beautiful feet and this wonderful meal". I replied "no I am very very grateful for the meal ma'am. I am so grateful for your beatiful feet and the delicious meal" After a very small amount of yogurt she began crushing up some strawberries and blueberries in a bowl with her feet. The bowl was filled to the top but to my dissapointment I was fed an extremely minuscule amount. I must have had a total of 5 or 6 berries before she said "Okay well that's enough food for you today slave. I think you've had enough now."
I was stil starving and if even more hungry as the small taste only wet my appetite. I wanted to protest but knew better. Had I said one thing there is no question i would have been tortured and whipped to tears. This went on each night for the next 3 nights like this. Each night she came down dressed in an amazing outfit with a pair of incredibly sexy heels. She would spend some time walking around me in heels with a whip in hand threatening to beat me if I did not respond properly to her questions and commands. All I could do was sit their terrified and shaking knowing if she had decided to beat me it was going to be a merciless and extremely brutal beating. Anytime she was dressed up and in heels like this I ran the risk of being torturted extremely bad. I was lucky to have not been beaten until the last night but it was absolute torture each time she got to removing her heels and rubbing her feet in a meal I would only taste in very small amounts. During the final night she sat in front of me and extended a whip over my back for an hour while I kissed her heels and feet and cried to her. Moaning in pain and broken from 8 days of straight isolation and starvation I sat chained and curled up in a ball of pain. I had been instructed to tell her how grateful I was to be a footslave and how beautiful her feet were and how in would never give her a lousy foot massage again. I was told the whipping would not stop until she felt I had really meant everything I was saying. To make a long story short I was beaten until there was a puddle of blood on the floor below me dripping from my back. I must have kissed each one of her toes a thousand times while I cried and pleaded for mercy. Repeating "I appreciate your feet ma'am. I am grateful. Have mercy on me, please have mercy. I will never give you a dissapointing massage again.
Please I beg you" as I shed tears onto her feet. When she finally had stopped beating me she once again began taunting me with a meal she had crushed under her feet. Once again pasting crushed yogurt and fruit around my lips and tongue until she allowed me to eat it. At the end of meal I was finally released from the shackles and restraining devices for the first time in 8 days and instructed to ejaculate on her feet and forced to lick the cum completely clean off her feet. I have had some difficult recovering from the entire experience and have had even greater difficulty rubbing her feet this week knowing she could punish me again like this if she is not satisfied. I am trying very hard to please her and hope she can understand this.
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Old 07-04-2014, 1:58 PM
ldavalon ldavalon is offline
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Join Date: Apr 2008
Posts: 664
Quote:
Originally Posted by submissive_male4u View Post
i like her personality... i would dream to have a Mistress like her.
hear hear. we are talking female domination.... right? well, there you go. be a slave, or don't.

this whole thread has an air of unreality to it. but i hope it's real... for your sake. love her, or leave her.

Cheers,
Lawrence
http://DieForHer.com

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