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  #16  
Old 12-10-2013, 12:05 PM
Billy Butler Billy Butler is offline
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SlaveRon and rubbermac, I hope you guys can still get on here one day and share your experiences further with us.

Anyone else that has similar type of experiences or in a similar situation, please go ahead and share.


Thanks everyone
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  #17  
Old 12-13-2013, 3:50 PM
submissive_male4u submissive_male4u is offline
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SlaveRon,

I think you should consider yourself very lucky to be a full time slave for her. I think you have not begged sufficiently or pleaded with her enough for her to give you lighter punishments.

I think if you please her enough, she will treat you much better, and perhaps, to have a more intimate relationship with her.

My advise is to do whatever makes her high and happy... and please her more...
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  #18  
Old 12-27-2013, 5:16 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy Butler View Post
SlaveRon,
Does your Owner ever use her feet as a reward to you or even punishment? It sounds like she likes you worshiping and the attention to her feet.
I’d be happy to answer this one because more than half of my slave life revolves around my mistress’s feet. There is no doubt she enjoys me worshipping her feet but more so I she enjoys watching me suffer at her feet. This is both a blessing and a curse. I do have both a tremendous admiration for her feet but also a very real fear when I am at her feet, mainly because every punishment begins and ends there. What I mean by this is…. At the end of every day (or every couple days) after all the my chores and responsibilities have been met, I am always chained up or put in a restraining device at her feet at which point she judges the quality of my work for that day and she will decide what kind of punishment I will be receiving before I am sent to my cage to sleep. Naturally I am extremely fearful in this position and the fear has grown deeper over the years knowing I will be beaten after. I can only sit there helplessly massaging, worshiping, and sometime licking (if she demands) her feet to perfection while she decides my punishment and fate for the evening. It is particular terrifying when I know I messed something up that day or if I know she is in a bad mood. And even more terrifying knowing that as soon as she removes her feet from me it’s only so she can begin beating me. So I hang on to every moment, worshiping desperately, trying so hard to please her, trying so hard to prolong the inevitable….Licking, caressing, adoring, massaging, and begging her in hopes that I will please her enough to avoid a harsh punishment. There are times when this pays off, but it is not common. Still this is the only thing I can do to possibly lessen my punishment so I make strong effort. You only imagine how I feel when I am at her feet several times a week for many years now. It has become learned behavior to fear her in this position, knowing it could make the difference between 50 lashes and 200 lashes or a light trampling and a bloody trampling. This fear I have developed has carried over not only to times I am in direct contact with her feet, but simply in the presence of them or even looking at them. I will try to explain this a bit more later. While this has become a very difficult thing to manage, I will also say that I do have the most unimaginable attraction and lust for her legs and feet as they are extremely beautiful , long, sexy and downright perfect so it can be very enjoyable. But the truth is her feet represent suffering, pain and punishment to me more than anything.

The other thing is that mercy will never be granted at any other place accept her feet. This is what I mean by all punishment’s start and end at her feet. Mercy is usually out of the question but if there is consideration granted it will be at her feet and at her feet only. On some occasions, after she has been viciously beating or torturing me, she will take a break, place me at her feet, and explain to me that I have one last chance to avoid more torture by showing my appreciation for her by licking and massaging her feet. If my work is to her satisfaction she will consider granting me mercy. If not, the punishment often continues longer and harsher. Most times when I am even given this consideration i am already in very bad shape from the beating…. crying, exhausted, sobbing, trembling and greatly fearing more punishment so it is no wonder I am extremely attentive and careful to please. I sometimes imagine how bizarre of a site it must be if someone were to witness this sort of real intense worship built out this deep fear. You can imagine if you were whipped and tortured very badly and offered one chance to please your mistress in an attempt to avoid more punishment, how strongly this would influence your behavior in that moment. It ends up with me actually bowing, worshipping, kissing, and licking like a mad man. Sometimes with my face pressed against her soft soles, caressing her legs and feet, mumbling “please have mercy on me miss, please”. You do whatever you have to do to appear most appreciative, grateful, merciful, and respectful without hesitating even a second. The difficult thing is that I truly believe my mistress enjoys these moments more than anything, which gives her more incentive to make my punishment severe. Not only is is part of her true sadistic nature but she really gets off watching me helplessly beg in times like this…. Many times she will unwind from beating me with a glass of wine, removing her sexy heels, (sometimes clothing too), putting her stunning legs and feet up in my face, with me restrained, crying and licking her feet in pain like a dog. Elegantly taunting and threatening me in an already beaten and battered state that I ought to make every last lick count or my beating will continue until my ass is the color of her red nail polish. This is the very harsh truth of my life as a slave to this woman. She is absolutely stunning and irresistible but extremely merciless and has been able to very effectively make my obsession toward her feet my greatest fear.

This has been somewhat difficult to cope with over the years and has only gotten worse. There was a time, long ago in my earlier slave days when I could simply appreciate the beauty of her legs and feet and simply feel aroused by them, but over many years this has changed when every beating begins and ends with me laying helplessly at them. Sure I am still aroused on some level, but I also tense up badly, tremble, and sometimes even feel physical pain shoot through me just looking at them now. Tough to explain but to illustrate…. Just the other night she had gotten dressed up in a stunning outfit ready for a night out with friends. When she came downstairs I was blown away by how amazing she looked…. Absolutely stunning…body so slender and perfect, like she just walked off a Victoria secret runway. I was immediately aroused seeing her and I tracked my eyes down her beautiful long legs to see her gorgeous feet in a pair of heels. As soon as I saw her feet I felt my entire body tense up in fear. With it I felt a rush of burning pain all over my body. It was a crazy experience… almost like I was re-living all the pain and fear I experience before and after my beatings without even being tortured. I am always somewhat on edge and fearful being in “her” presence but it was really making eye contact with her feet that threw me into this terrified state. So much that I immediately got down on my hands and knees and began bowing and kissing her feet over and over again, asking if there was anything I can do for her. I can only guess this is some form of learned behavior like a Pavlo’s dog type scenario. Her feet now remind me of every punishment, every lash, all the burning, crying, and begging for mercy I have done at her feet. The truth is I am not sure how to interpret such strong feelings. I never thought my fetish would turn into such a deep fear, but it is no surprise to me that this experience parallels my entire relationship as a slave to my mistress… grateful but also fearful.

I will try to come back and share more is some ways in which I have been rewarded by her feet as well as directly punished by her feet. The actual punishment methods she has used to physically torture me using her feet have actually been some of my most painful and feared punishments. Again, when you have a mistress that actually enjoys watching you suffer at her feet, there is no limit to methods she will use to watch you grovel in pain under them. I will try to come back and share some stories at some point.
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  #19  
Old 12-28-2013, 4:05 AM
man under foot man under foot is offline
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thank you for sharing all your feelings !
it's incredible to read it!
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  #20  
Old 01-01-2014, 1:42 PM
slawilli slawilli is offline
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Nice readings. Please share more as available. tks.
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  #21  
Old 01-01-2014, 5:01 PM
Billy Butler Billy Butler is offline
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Slave ron,

Thank you so so much for responding to my question. I'm obviously not alone on this forum that finds your situation fascinating and wants to know more!! I feel for you my friend and I hope that you are ok. The woman you serve is truly sadistic, I hope she doesn't end up injuring you so badly one day that she does permanent damage or worse. Do you ever worry about her killing you by accident or causing permanent damage? And does she only make you serve her female friends when she has guests over? Does she take it easy on you when you serve her in front of others? Does your family have suspicions that something very odd is up with your relationship with this woman? The female foot is very powerful, and she's used that against you. How did you first meet her? Sorry for all questions, please elaborate on anything you can. I wish you the best of luck.


Rubbermac - If you are out there, I really hope you tell us more about your situation as well. I hope you are well my friend.
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  #22  
Old 02-04-2014, 7:49 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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Billybutler id be happy to try answering a couple of your questions...
In regards to my mistress actually killing me ... This is not likely at all (no chance), but I would be lying if I said I wasn’t undergoing some very brutal and painful punishments at times that are probably somewhat dangerous. I do have a lot scars which can technically constitute as "permanent damage" but I don’t think this is of serious danger to my long term health nor are most of the punishments but then again I am sure many would argue this and they could be correct. Whatever the case, it is true that the punishments can result in some very serious pain and this does affect me both physically and psychologically.

What I can say is with respect to this though is that most of the real extreme punishments are actually a result of my mistakes or failures. I have no one to really blame but myself for these punishments as they are result of my errors or failing to meet my mistress’s expectations. Sure there are times when I am beaten or punished just because my mistress “feels like it” or just because she enjoys watching me suffer and these too can be serious punishments, but the real extreme punishments, where I am begging, crying, screaming, etc. are really a result of my failures and probably well deserved. If I did not mess up than my punishment would not be so bad. It’s just really difficult to perform to her standards at all times when even the most minor offenses, like arriving just 2 minutes late to pick her up, or not washing the kitchen floor well enough can result in some very brutal punishments. There is absolutely no room for error and everything is subject to her view and standards. This means that even if I feel I did a good job, she may have thought otherwise and will end up punishing badly for it. For this reason I try effortlessly to please her and meet “her” standards, not my own. I am always thinking about her and her needs and what she would expect around the clock to ensure I stand the best chance of satisfying her and avoiding punishment.

As far as failing to meet her expectations sexually… like not getting her off, giving her bad foot massage, not satisfying her during oral sex, or not performing anything in the realm of sex well… this will result in the all most absolutely extreme punishments. As does talking back to her too much. But I am very serious about the punishments involving sexual aspects of our relationship… if I even as so much “look” ungrateful while I am rubbing her feet or worshiping her body, for example, I can be mercilessly tortured for even days. It is of course hard to please her when many of these standards are being judged from a subjective level, but that is part of my arrangement that I must learn to accept. But as I may have stated in one of my previous posts… most of my performance and punishments are decided every couple nights. This is good, because there is some actual system to reviewing my behavior and administering punishments which allows me to understand my mistresses needs better and work on my mistakes. On the other hand it can be terrorizing to have to wait a couple days to find out what my punishment is, especially when I know I messed something up. Sometimes the fear and anticipation is worse than the actual punishment and this can drive me absolutely insane. Like this morning my mistress mentioned that I did not wash her bed sheets and I know I will be punished for this, but I have to wait till tomorrow night now to see what my punishment will be for this. As usual I will be put in one of the many restraining devices or sitting stock devices at her feet and she will decide my punishment while I am giving her a foot massage. This mistake and any other errors made during the last couple days, as well as the quality of my foot massage will be taken into account and the appropriate punishment decided and carried out. I must say I am a little nervous knowing I messed up with the bed sheets, but I am not nearly as nervous and scared as I have been when I know I have made a bigger mistake.

There have been times when I have literally been crying, trembling, and begging before even getting to my review. Already breaking down into tears before my punishment has even been decided… sobbing and crying as I am being restrained and placed at her feet knowing that the punishment she will decide will likely be severe and very painful. Once I am actually restrained my attitude is the only salvation I have left as I cannot change any of the past mistakes I have made. The only thing I can do to save myself is to make a very good impression which means being attentive, careful, respectful, merciful and showing the utmost most appreciation and gratefulness in her presence. Especially with my attentiveness to her foot massage. Sometimes though I am really very nervous and sobbing so much that I think she can get more frustrated with me which ends up making things worse. But it is really hard to hide the fear when I know I could end up tortured for an entire weekend or even longer. That one moment is really all I have to apologize and beg for mercy. Many times when I know I really messed up bad I will massage her feet while kissing them over and over again, begging her to have mercy on my mistakes.

There have been quite a few instances that have been genuinely downright traumatizing, psychologically speaking, where I just could not hold it together during my review and I lost it emotionally. I knew I messed up real bad and was a wreck going into it, but I ended up losing control during the review and saying things I shouldn’t have. It basically started with my crying and sobbing for mercy.. as soon as my punishment was explained (50 lashes to each of my nipples)… I ended up crying more and protesting because I really hate this punishment more than anything… But my mistress didn’t like my attitude and the way I reacted so she eloquently stated…. “hot wax to your nipples following the whipping slave”… I don’t know what happened and why I acted like this (I think it was the fear making me act like this) so I getting very loud and saying stuff like that’s not fair, this is ridiculous, etc. etc. …. “30 more lashes to each nipple following the whipping slave, do you want to keep going?”… I protested more “How does the pin needle rolling device on your nipples sound too slave”. I was completely out of control cyring, protesting, and shouting…. “Okay slave, if you want to act like an animal I will treat you like an animal… I will spend an hour rubbing my feet into your soar tender nipples after the beating. Keeping going and I will add another hour”…. and this went on and on till I finally came to my senses and realized I was not getting anywhere and eventually shut my mouth. It was a horrible night I will never forget. I don’t’ know how much experience anyone has with whipping and tortures to your nipples, but it is for real an absolutely horribly painful punishment. Each of my nipples were actually bleeding by the time she was done and completely raw and soar for weeks after. The absolute worst part of the punishment was the last hour she spent rubbing her feet over my beaten tender nipples.

During this part of the punishment I am restrained under the couch, with each hand cuffed to each of the couch legs and a spreader bar running from one hand to the next. My feet are also shackled in chains as well as anosther spreader bar running from one leg to the next After this, she sits up on the couch and begins digging each foot into my soar nipples. Frequently she will stop to whip them more and also apply a pin needle rolling device again before rubbing her feet over them again. She does this over and over again for a very long time. The only relief I get is when she stops to make me lick her feet wet. It is unbelievable how painful this ends up becoming with my nipples so sensitive from the pain that all she has to do is lightly rub her toes on them before I am screaming and withering in pain. I have truthfully contemplated very seriously leaving my mistress following this torture which has been administered several times. The fear of this punishment drives me absolutely crazy and knowing she can do this at any time is really hard to deal with, as is many of the other punishments I am given. But this is the price for being her slave.

On that note…. I did want to explain to anyone reading this post or any other posts that I really don’t consider my relationship a femdom/sub or mistress/slave relationship. Perhaps I have referred to it as this and I am lucky that it does have elements of femdom to it because that is the reason I got into the lifestyle, but the truth is my relationship here is one of true slavery and servitude to this woman. Yes I do refer to her as my mistress but it was agreed upon from the start that this would be true slavery… not a femdom relationship. I am to serve to the best of my ability at all times and will accept all punishments with no limits. I have no say and absolutely no rights at all. I feel inclined to make this important distinction here just so you are aware of the reality of and context of what you are reading. I really have thought about leaving at times, as you may have read in the previous posts, but it is very difficult and truthfully I think I am psychologically scared on many different levels. All I can think about every second of every day is pleasing my mistress, not only because I do have an obsession with her but also because I am truly terrified of her. I believe this is what she wants and she has undoubtedly succeeded in this. I do not really question my willingness to serve her but only wish she can be more merciful on me. I want to approach her again about this but I am really scared. Last time I asked for her to have mercy on me I was punished really bad. It involved being in chastity for a really long time which became really painful. I will try to come back and share the details of this story, but my request to be released did not work out so well and this is the type of outcome I have experienced with trying to bargain for more leniency. I can not stress enough that I have been trying desperately to please this woman but I an wondering now that I am probably not dong a good enough job or I would not be beaten like this. But still I am wishing badly that she would have mercy on me at times because I do not think I have the balls to leave her right now. This is sort of the same dilemma i was in during my first post and now I feel like i have the same feeling back again and everything is resurfacing.
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  #23  
Old 02-08-2014, 7:38 AM
man under foot man under foot is offline
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Honestly, i don't know how you can handle it!
I'm not into 24/7 femdom but can understand your feelings.
It's true that it'sdifficult to find a real sadistic woman but your Mistress is a evil one for sure!
And as you say, even if you're doing your best, she will punish you, because she likes seeing you in pain, crying, and begging.
I think that she won't have ever mercy on you, because this is what she likes! She just enjoys you because you make her life easier and she can even kick you for HER fun!
But the question is : do you like serve her and being beaten by her or not?
(sorry for my bad english)
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  #24  
Old 02-13-2014, 4:32 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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It is true… a lot of it comes down to whether or not I enjoy serving her and being beaten by her. I do very much enjoy serving her and I do enjoy her dominance and some of the reasonable punishments, but the extremely harsh ones are hard to deal with, as is being in fear a lot of the time. It is just that I can not imagine my life without serving her and being her slave. I feel deeply attached to her on many different levels. I have never once felt tired of serving her or bored with my role as her slave and I truly live for the times I am rewarded by her. With that said I am starved for her attention all the time. Sometimes I would rather be continually beaten if it allows me to be in her presence than to be sent away. Its hard to explain this but it is true. Following my beatings it seems that I also end up having an even stronger desire to serve her and please. I don’t know if it is just because I am fearing her more or because I feel the need to want to make her happy, but I would guess it is some combination or the two.

Unfortuantely though there is a flip side to all this and that is… I am constantly expected to perform to a standard that is hard for anyone to meet and I am punished very badly if I fail to meet those standards. Much more than anyone would want to be punished and beaten. She expects absolute perfection with everything I do as well as a certain demeanor and behavior at all times and if this is standard is not met I can pay a very harsh price. I often think how I would not even be in this situation at all if I was not restrained so well during many of my extremely harsh beatings. I would have easily left being in that much pain, which is why I am often restrained in multiple devices at the same time. And if I did actually leave, I would have never been allowed back. But what always ends up happening after I somehow make it through the punishment… is that I end up wimping out and never have the balls to actually leave anymore. Instead I find myself working even harder to please her and kissing the ground she walks on even more. It is a vicious cycle and she has managed to get two driving forces of my brain working at the same time that probably shouldn’t work in tandem. I do believe there is some term used for prisoners and such that go through this sort of attachment with their owners and I can only think that I am touching on this at some level, but who knows. There is just times when the fear drives me mad. Like I always have a very hard time now even going to my bi-weekly reviews with her as she appears to be dissatisfied with me these days and punishing me much worse. I would imagine most people would think I am nuts if they knew the extent and details of some of the punishments I have been forced to endure, but again there are so many conflicting feelings that make it easier said than done to just leave. Until then I believe the only thing I can continue to do is try hard to serve her and beg for her to have mercy on me for my failures. Thanks anyone for reading and offering thoughts or advice.
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  #25  
Old 02-23-2014, 2:41 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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I thought I’d share a story of a situation I recently landed myself in with my mistresss that lead to some harsh consequences…

There are some extremely cruel punishments involved here, so I caution any faint hearted readers not to read. The punishments are very brutal and I had absolutely no choice but to accept them due to my arrangement as a 24-7 live in slave.

The whole ordeal started when my mistress put me in chastity a couple months back and decided to go on somewhat of a sexual rampage commanding I get her off every night. Each night would start with me giving her a full body massage, worshipping her ass and breasts, then licking her pussy. After that she would strap a dildo on my face and ride it until she cums, followed by another round of licking her pussy.

When this nightly routine first started I was very excited. I have had this privilege many times in my slave life, but doing this almost every night was a real treat. However what started as a dream come true ended up turning into a painful nightmare very quickly and it wasn't long before I was in a lot of pain from the chastity device. Not only was it sexually frustrating but it was very painful each and everytime I had got aroused, as this chastity device has some spikes on the inside, similar to a Kali's teeth device. It is almost impossible not to get aroused just looking at my mistress naked, let alone massaging hot oil into her absolutely perfect stunning slender curvy and toned body and even harder when she is riding her gorgeous ass on my dildo strapped face and making me lick her beautiful pussy all night.

After a short while of experiencing chastity device pain that would bring me to my knees I learned very quickly to control my sexual arousment and even though I was partially successful at doing this, I was not successful with the sexual frustration that was mounting as well as the incredibly painful blue balls that was getting worse and worse each day. It was getting so bad that was in serious pain and almost couldn't even walk. My nuts were throbbing like you would not believe ... huge, red swollen and filled with hot fluid... all I can think about was being released every second of every day. Against my better judgment I mustered up enough courage to actually tell my mistress I could no longer take it anymore. I sent her a text one day that read... " Mistress I was wondering if you would please have any consideration on releasing me tonight. I cannot take the pain anymore and it hurts so bad I cannot even think straight."

I was scared shitless asking something like this... Knowing she might punish me for such a foolish request. I knew better than to ask her to put my needs first for anything but still the pain was so bad that I had to take the chance.
When I finally heard back her text read... "Slave I will consider your request for tonight"

I immediately felt a sigh of relief seeing this and was excited to get home from work. When I did, she was dressed on the most lingerie with a pair of very sexy heels on. Her sexy long legs and absolutely perfect feet looked so amazing, words cannot explain. As part of my typical protocol I dropped to my hands and knees and kissed her feet to greet her. She immediately put shackles on my legs and arms and instructed me to crawl into the basement. When I got down there she strapped me onto one of her flat benches and proceeded to straddle me on the bench, She then removed her heels and began running her amazing perfect pedicured feet over the top of my chastity device. It was almost impossible to not get aroused and I began feeling the spikes of the chastity device dig into my sensitive flesh. Still I was trying desperately to hold it together for just a bit longer and figured it wouldn't be long before she released me.

Finally my mistesss said... “Slave so i was thinking about your request and what I decided”... She then paused and looked at me and laughed a bit..” What I decided is that you are going to be brutally beaten for asking such a silly question”
I immediately began pleading for mercy.. "No please I am sorry miss. I did not mean it mistress, please I am so sorry"... She responded... "You have some nerve to text me in the middle of the day something like this. I am disappointed in you and you will pay a terrible price for it . I was terrified knowing it was going to be a long painful night. And it was. My position on the flat bench was adjusted so I was now laying on my stomach and tightly restrained with straps so I could not even move a muscle. I suspected a whipping to my back but instead my mistress began whipping the soles of my feet with a Riding crop. When she had enough with the riding crop she began using a cane. It was at this point that I began screaming with every stroke. This went on for a long time with my crying and screaming . And if that was not bad enough, she then poured hot wax on my feet, which was followed by another round of whipping with a strap and a caning. By the time the beating had ended my feet felt like they were on fire.... swollen; beaten, throbbing and in terribly bad pain. I was crying and screaming the entire time which was completely ignored by my mistress. If that was not bad enough... the punishment intensified.. As soon as the beating was done my legs and arms were shackled yet again before the straps were removed on the bench. I was then instructed to crawl back up the stairs in chains to the workout room where I was handcuffed to a treadmill. My mistress then forced me to walk barefoot on the treadmill with my hands cuffed to the machine. She turned the speed and incline up several nothches, grabbed a seat and watched me walk on the machine with my feet throbbing so bad I wanted to die. I cried and begged her for mercy the enter time. Several times I put my feet up on the sides of the machine for a rest because I could not take the pain, but each time I did this, she would walk over to the treadmill and turn the incline and speed up more. I cried and cried more and more. My feet had never been in so much pain... Burning so bad and soar from being beaten and now throbbing in pain as a I walked on them. It felt like my soles were being shredded . It was a very cruel punshiment. I kept screaming out...." I will never do it again miss... I'm so sorry. “Please mercy. Please miss”
Finally my mistress stood up, came over and said... "Slave I am not convinced you are worthy of mercy right now, but it's been long day and my feet are tired, can you imagine that?, So you can give me a nice foot massage with your tounge and if you do a good job maybe I won't put you back on the treadmill okay?"

I was shaking like a leaf and would have agreed to virtually anything to get off the treadmill... “Yes yes, thank you, thank you, Thank you mistress, Thank you.” The shackles were then placed on me again as the handcuffs were disconnected from the machine leaving me no chance of escaping, which I would’ve done in a heartbeat if there was an opportunity to do so. I then crawled into the next room and over to a sitting stock device in front of the couch where both my hands and legs were locked into the device and instructed to begin kissing her beautiful feet.. I was still a sobbing mess, shaking in pain, and was terrified of the possibility of being beaten or put back on the treadmill. I tried to ignore the pain and regain my focus. I began kissing her absolutely perfect feet until she commanded I begin licking them. She then stopped and moved her foot away from my mouth and said... "Slave look up at me" I looked up at here, probably looking like a deer in headlights I was so scared , "I don't like what is going on here... Do you want me to put you back on the treadmill for another 30 minutes." I cried out,"noooo. “Noooo I promise you, please, I am so sorry… Please I promise mistress,” Very real cry’s with actual tears coming down my face.

I was in very bad shape and although I have been a sobbing mess at her feet many times before, this was a particularly pathetic site, I had no chance of escape, couldn’t move my hands or legs at all, and had no chance of doing anything but crying to her and begging for her mercy. This was not foot worship for my pleasure by any means. This was one of those moments (like many times before) I was worshipping her feet terrified of being punished more. She wanted to see serious respect, discipline, and devotion and if she did not see this I could tell she was ready to beat me into a complete frenzy. I could not explain what an intense feelng I had sitting there helpless, beaten so badly, licking her pretty feet, knowing she could decide at any moment to continue beating me. . It is truly a pathetic site when she gets me to this level. I feel absolutely worthless, helpless, and panicked. And unfortunately there is some real enjoyment and a major power trip she gets from this and she will often taunt me and threaten me throughout which is even more terrifying. At one point… she removed her feet from my mouth and said. Do you want me to beat you more or do you want my feet? “No please… I want your feet… please I want your feet miss. Please no more. Please your feet miss please. These were extremely desperate sounding cry’s.. I must of sounded like a baby begging so badly for her feet back, just to avoid more toruture. “Then show me respect and do a good job”. And so this went on for quite some time like this with me wrapping my mouth slowly around each of her toes and licking slowly and intently like it was the last thing I would ever taste in my life.

Its been over 10 days and my feet are still all soar and urt like hell from the beating. Every time I walk on them I am reminded of the punishment. The all worst is that I have been a lot more fearful of my mistress since this happened and I am on edge all the time making sure I am not disappointing her in any way. I am doing some of my chores 2 and 3 times over to ensure it was done perfect… Scrubbing floors 3 times over to make sure there isn’t a single spot on the floor, folding laundry and ironing over and over again to make sure there is isn’t a single crease in her clothes, emptying garbage cans 4 times a day, vacuuming several times over, washing her car over and over… and it goes on and on. I have a list of things and I am constantly doing to minimize my chances of being beaten. I am Constantly, I mean CONSTANTLY at work to make sure she is satisfied with every last thing possible.. I am still in chastity and will not dare to ask to be released again. Above all I have learned to keep my mouth shut and just deal with the chastity, cause my mistress loves to remind me that she can always make things a lot worse for me.

The last thing I would add is that I have also been particularly concerned that my mistress has begun to incorporate more forms of punishment that are very painful in the last year. She has gotten more away from the standard caning and whipping and has found more unique punishment methods and devices that are terrorizing. She has always been into using various forms of punishment but she has more recently taken this to a different level and I am experience n torture and pain that I never knew was even possible. Like the other night she rubbed stinging nettles all over my entire body as punishment for a bad foot massage. There is nothing more disrespectful to her than I bad foot massage and I am seriously desperate to make her feel satisfied with this so I have actually been taking Swedish massage classes in the last few months just so I can try to get down several different techniques that may satisfy her.
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  #26  
Old 03-03-2014, 7:08 AM
submissive_male4u submissive_male4u is offline
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Hi Ron,

Thank you for sharing with us. I think you must be very lucky to have such a strict and beautiful Mistress with you. There has to be something else you can do to make her happy as it is the only goal of yours. Please share with us more of the events... thank you.
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  #27  
Old 03-06-2014, 7:26 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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This is a very pathetic dilemma I am going to share but I am hoping it will help relieve some frustration through the course of writing it ….. One of the issues I have been faced with for some time now is a growing fear of being continually tortured by mistress due to the inability to satisfy her with foot massages I am forced to give several times a week. In the last year I have completed a 12 week course on reflexology and now I am in the middle of taking a 6 week course on Swedish massage. I’ve also spent considerable time of my own studying various Asian style massages; with a particular focus on Thai foot massage techniques. All this effort and I still cannot seem to consistently satisfy her. I do feel I am improving and there are times when she is happy with my work but there are still far too many times when she is dissatisfied which has resulted in extremely painful punishments. It just seems very unfair because it is an entirely subjective experience and sometimes if she is in a not so pleasant mood, it can unfairly influence her judgment.

She is aware of the strong effort I am putting in with these classes and she knows I am committed to satisfying her no matter what it takes, but still I am worried that I cannot satisfy her. I am confident in a few techniques that I think are working to my advantage but she will never actually tell me what it is she likes or dislikes. It is completely a matter of trial and error and it’s a difficult process trying to figure out where I went wrong. And it is not only the massage techniques I am using that matters, but a lot of other things…… temperature of water during a footbath, the lotion being used, the amount of pressure applied, time spent on each foot, even my attitude and behavior, or simply the way I am cupping her feet. I have even been beaten for not having the towel I dry her feet with warmed up enough and for not turning my phone off during the massage. All these errors have resulted in very severe punishment at one point or another. It’s all being looked at and judged constantly. I am also faced with the challenge of having to give these massages in shackles on both my hands and feet. I have enough leeway to move my hands and give the massage, but it is still very difficult this way and easier to make mistakes. Unfortunately removing the shackles is not something my mistress will ever consider as there have hardly been any times I have been at her feet without being in some type of restraining device.
Lately I have been terribly on edge during the entire time I am rubbing her feet and I am constantly trying to gauge her liking of the massage. It probably sounds very pathetic, but I have gotten so paranoid now that I’m peering out of the corner of my eye to see if I can get a read on her expression and whether or not she seems to be enjoying it, but this is very difficult and risky as she has warned me not to make direct eye contact with her during the massage or I will be punished for this. I’ve also started to actually try to interpret the way she moves her feet as a sign of like or distaste for what I am doing, even though these movements probably have nothing to do with it. It is possible I am just becoming very paranoid but I don’t know. What I do know is I MUST satisfy her. All that matters is how her feet are feeling. That’s it. I sit there rubbing and desperately praying she is enjoying every stroke and every second of it because even the slightest dissatisfaction could result in her beating me into a bloody pulp. There is no room for error in this at all. Her feet feel amazing or I am tortured to the point of screaming and crying. It is really a type of foot slavery that most people would probably be shocked to see actually existed. Perhaps it is a fantasy of some folks as it was for me a long time ago too, but it is different now… I exist to worship and care for this woman’s feet on a level that is degrading humiliating and consuming of my entire existence. I truly live to serve her feet and live with the fear of failing to properly serve her feet. But truthfully I do not feel I entirely chose this path. I have been molded shaped and trained to serve her like this after many years of her modifying my behavior through severe punishments. I did not really see it coming in the beginning and now many years later I am realizing just how much my life revolves around these rituals and how fearful I am of failure. Now more than ever I feel desperate to develop some gauge of whether she is satisfied, because I being punished in ways I never thought were possible.

The problem is that my errors are still resulting in painful consequences and I’m wondering if there is ever going to be a way to fully satisfy her? Or is she just driving me insane making me constantly work at perfecting these techniques knowing she is going to beat me no matter what? By the way these classes are not something I really wanted to do. It’s just the only thing I can think of doing that would increase my chances of satisfying her and avoiding these punishments.

Perhaps it is difficult for anyone to understand how important this is but from my mistresses’ perspective massaging and worshiping her feet properly demonstrates the ultimate form of respect so it is extremely important I do it her liking. I guess this is consistent with all aspects of “femdom”, so it does not surprise me, but I do believe my mistress has taken this to an entirely different level. Taking care of her feet and worshiping her feet properly is probably the biggest responsibility I have. Far more important than any of the millions of chores I have and that is because my ass is on the line every time I come in contact with her feet. My punishments are far more severe from failing at this than with anything else. She demands a massage is given perfectly every single time, which means I need to get her to a point of complete relaxation and her feet and legs need to feel incredible. I need to hit the right trigger points that release the most endorphins every time without fail. She needs to feel truly amazing by the end. It is beyond disrespectful to fail at this and there is no limit to the suffering she will put me through to ensure this is done correctly.

And now it is true that my fear of failure has been affecting the quality of my massages more than ever. There have been stretches of time following bad beatings, where I am so terrified my hands will be shaking during the massage. This is something I have to constantly fight so I don’t let it affect my work, but it is not an easy task knowing how badly I can suffer for my mistakes. For example, the last bad foot massage resulted in stinging nettles rubbed all over my entire body. This was simply because I forgot to kiss her feet at the end of the massage before I began strapping her heels back on. I should have known better than to forget this, but this was a merciless and horribly brutal punishment for just that one mistake. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it was just a localized spot on my ass, but she whipped me with them with and rubbed them into my legs, back, stomach, chest, and arms as well. Roughly 5 stems used at time and as soon as the nettles lost their sharp sting, she had fresh ones ready to go. She must have used close to 100 and would only use them for about 45 seconds before grabbing a new batch to inflict the most unbearable pain possible. It started as a bad sting, but after a while turned into an intense burning and throbbing with screaming and crying. Very loud screams and tears flowing down my face. And all I heard was… “slave next time you won’t forget to kiss my feet after massaging them will you?” I cried and screamed the words “never again” over and over again at the top of my lungs, but no mercy was given until my entire body was beat red, fully welted, and throbbing in pain. I’m yet to be given mercy during punishment for a bad foot massage and this is why I am so terrified of this task. I know if I fail to satisfy her she will torture me till I am in tears and then torture me more and more and more. I can scream, apologize, and promise endlessly to try harder next time and still it means nothing to her. She knows the only way to truly get me to work harder and meet her expectations is to punish me and instill serious fear in me. This way she can guarantee I will be trying harder. She always says that she can’t afford to have me making mistakes, wasting her time, and running around doing whatever I want without consequences. She makes me feel like I am deserving of these punishments too which is very difficult, as I am constantly forced to bear responsibility for my own suffering. The truth is that I have NEVER EVER forgotten to kiss her feet after massaging them since that punishment and I never ever will ever again. So she has clearly succeeded in disciplining me and making me treat her with the respect she deserves.

The thing is that I really want to satisfy her, but I don’t know what to do anymore. I can only take so many classes and most of my time is also wrapped up in a full time job and working to serve her with other responsibilities. But I am becoming more terrified with these punishments and no amount begging and crying will change her mind from punishing me. I am just hoping there is really a way to satisfy her. I have been doing this for several years now and the expectations have only gotten greater as have the punishments. I am even having these nightmares now where I being brutally whipped, trampled and stomped in heels, and practically tortured to death at her feet. The problem is that these nightmares are not very different from my reality. I broke down crying to her one day begging for her to have mercy on me before I even began massaging her feet. I was particularly terrified on this day because the time before resulted in her heels being scrapped down my back with me completely immobilized in a sitting stock device until my entire backside was ripped to shreds. So this time I began pleading to her that my only purpose in life was to serve her and serve her beautiful feet and to please forgive me for any mistakes I would make. At the end of massage she still caned me to tears. And the explanation was… “I am not entirely satisfied with your work yet slave”.

I don’t know what else I can do. Maybe I as shouldn’t even be complaining, but there is serious cruelty and torture for my mistakes. I cannot run away or object to these tortures. During my stinging nettles torture I was restrained with shackles behind my back and a spreader bar running between my legs. I squirmed on the floor in pain the entire time. When she was through with the torture she left the room for about an hour and left me there on the floor crying as all the pain from the nettles settled in. When she came back into the room I instinctively started to crawl to the corner of the room trying to get away from her. I wasn’t even aware what I was doing until she said…. “Slave I hope you are not trying to get away from me. I would be very upset if you were and would have to beat you more”. I immediately stopped in my tracks lying motionless and pleaded “No I would never do that miss. Please I am so sorry miss” Begging so desperately knowing she would not hesitate to rub another 100 nettles into my body. She then spent some time just sitting there resting her heels on my back as I lay there motionless, terrified, and in pain. She was just talking and laughing on the phone with a friend completely unphased by the brutal beating and pain I was in. This is the kind of torture and suffering I will be subjected to…. all for improperly massaging or handling her feet. It is also why I tremble and shake in real serious fear anytime I come in contact with her feet.

The only other thing I have been thinking is that I am usually being judged for the quality of my foot massage at the same time as I am being reviewed for the quality of my other responsibilities and I have been thinking that maybe she is using the excuse of a poor foot massage as a reason to punish me when all the other work I have performed is flawless. Since most of the other chores are judged more objectively, maybe the bad foot massages is just her finding an excuse for punishing me. I don’t know but this stuff is running through my head all night and day as is everything I am going to do during my next massage to ensure I satisfy her. I also can’t stop visualizing her feet all day and night. I just wish I can find a way to satisfy her or simply find a way to avoid being tortured like this and I can’t seem to come up with anything. It’s driving me crazy. On a positive note, my last 3 massages did not result in any punishment, but I know that this is not going to last for long and I really fear the next punishment.
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  #28  
Old 04-12-2014, 9:51 PM
spankme1 spankme1 is offline
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SlaveRon, I thought the contract was for two years starting December 2011? That would mean it ended this past December. Did you extend the contract or something?
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  #29  
Old 04-13-2014, 6:01 PM
SlaveRon SlaveRon is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by spankme1 View Post
SlaveRon, I thought the contract was for two years starting December 2011? That would mean it ended this past December. Did you extend the contract or something?
Two years did end in December and neither of us said anything about it. I did not formally renew a contract and still serving her. For the longest time I was determined to get to that two year mark and bail out but now I am not sure what to do anymore. Its only gotten more difficult the more time I have spent serving her. Part of me wants my freedom back and my body and mind is telling me I need rest as I am always physically and mentally exhausted. Obviously there are many aspects of this that I am still drawn to but it is true I am tired of being tortured and punished for my mistakes and tired of living with a great deal of fear everyday, and I really do mean ‘fear’. One of the worst things that is really pushing me over the edge is spending so much time in shackles and chains. This is one of the most exhausting and painful aspects of my slavery. It is not a 100% of the time of course, but it is a lot of the time. Generally speaking I am free from about 6am to 7pm, but after that when all my work and chores have been completed I am put in chains for the remainder of the night. I am still mobile…. can walk, crawl, use my hands to some degree and can serve her if she chooses to have me around, but I am severely limited and it is extremely uncomfortable and humiliating. I really cannot express how much I dislike this. I basically work all day long during the week with my job and work all day serving her and then at night when I am finally done I am shackled and it is not uncommon to be put in an additional restraining device for several hours of the night and possibly beaten and tortured, especially if it is a night she is reviewing the quality of my work. A lot of nights i will also be sent off to sleep in these and you can only imagine it is not a very comfortable night sleeping in shackles. This is the general routine during the week. Weekends are a little different and vary based on how much she is around, but right now for example I am typing this with shackles on my arms and legs. I was placed in them around 7:30 when my mistress came home and i was ordered to my room. Will most likely be here for the remainder of the night which is also not uncommon as there are also many nights she wants me nowhere near her. So unless she calls me downstairs to do something for her i am confined to this room all night with shackles and will most likely sleep in them as well. So as you can imagine is quite humiliating and degrading to to have this happen even when I not in her presence. On the other hand I admit there are many times being sent away for the night is not so bad, as it gives me a chance to finally relax from serving her and I do not have to worry about making errors that I will eventually be punished for or punished on the spot for. If i were downstairs right now I would either be giving her a foot massage, doing chores and cleaning, or just kneeling on all fours in silence near her waiting to fulfill any command or order she gives me. There are times when I am free to speak and will have more interaction with my mistress but a lot of the time I am simply kneeling in shackles in complete silence. Simply waiting to serve her or do whatever she commands. I do not move, I do not speak, I just kneel with my head down waiting to do whatever she wants. On a Sunday night this would unquestionably be the case if I were downstairs in her presence. It is not uncommon actually to sometimes kneel in the corner of the room for hours in silence without any interaction at all. I exist purely to serve her and will obey orders without question. That is is. So as you can see it is nice to get a break from this sometimes and sent to my room for the night despite the isolation and the shackles.

I do feel I have gotten used to the shackles over the years but it has been a struggle as you can never really get used to being chained up all the time. I think if I could negotiate one part of my slave live life it would be this because it is really degrading and painful as my body is very soar and run down from being constantly restrained. This is one aspect of my arrangement that seems to resemble more of a true slavery than a femdom/sub lifestyle and so I really wish my mistress was more lenient with it. I’ve made some attempts to address the issue, but so far it does not seem up for debate. She has stated that I am very lucky and fortunate to be in her presence at all and should not complain and if I continue to press her she would not hesitate to immobilize me every night for the next month in the metal bondage chair, which is something she made me spend thousands on last year which immobilizes practically every part of my body … . Arms, legs, hands, feet and even head is completely locked in place with metal bars, straps and collars. So far the only times I have been in it have been as punishment for mistakes but I do not think she would hesitate to put me in this on a more regular basis if she wanted, which is something I do not want as it will give her more incentive to beat me. So far all times I have been placed in it she has also tortured me in it. One time beating me relentlessly with a cane and only stopping at times to have me lick her feet. Actually it was not until she felt every inch of her feet were thoroughly licked to her satisfaction that she stopped beating me and released me. As usual it was a terrorizing punishment, probably lasted about 3 hours and as with most of my punishments for “errors and mistakes” there was a considerable amount of begging and crying, this time with me literally licking my own tears off her feet. If it did not take so much time to restrain me in this device I may be in it a lot more often. Unfortunately though she has several other devices that are similar and easier to restrain me in that are equally painful so I lose either way. In any case, I have manage to get off topic again complaining again about some of these hardships, but the original question…. yes I am still serving even though these 2 years has come and gone. I am having a hard time leaving and still trying to weigh the good against the bad and take it day by day.
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  #30  
Old 04-14-2014, 12:18 PM
spankme1 spankme1 is offline
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Dude, get the fuck out of there immediately. She does not give a fuck about you. She is physically and mentally damaging you beyond repair. Each day you stay with her will only result in more permanent damage. If you really want to, try to negotiate part time slavery because it sounds like that's what you want. Tell her the two years are up and you don't need to do this anymore. It sounds like she doesn't care about your feelings so it's probably useless to bring up how it's making you feel. She will either negotiate or tell you to leave. At that point, LEAVE! There are many dommes out there who will CARE about you as a person and won't leave lasting psychological damage. What you are experiencing is Stockholm Syndrome. GET OUT.
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