the submissive sadist

[castagnus]

Most gentlemen subscribing to this magnificent forum purport to be submissive. However, do any of you have even a tiny sadistic streak in you? If so, do you enjoy inflicting pain and have you ever trampled a lady ?

[Ronin]

Never trampled, more along the lines of fire and ice, nipples, spanking, flogging, etc.......

[Jadis]

This goes in line with your previous thread (so I wont repeat what I've said here - just a wink and a nudge to check out my responses there): but it's not uncommon for someone like that to be a Switch. They often measure themselves in "percentages" (I'm 80% Dom/20% submissive). The only hardship is finding someone to share that sort of life with - because often times Switches are viewed (for what ever reason: not by me personally - but I've known it to happen) as "not really into the scene" or not "real players". As though - like the topic of homsexuality and bisexuality - you can't be "bi-sexual" ... you're gay and just don't want to admit it. So it's like saying "you're submissive but you just don't want to admit it".

[jadez]

This goes in line with your previous thread (so I wont repeat what I've said here - just a wink and a nudge to check out my responses there): but it's not uncommon for someone like that to be a Switch. They often measure themselves in "percentages" (I'm 80% Dom/20% submissive). The only hardship is finding someone to share that sort of life with - because often times Switches are viewed (for what ever reason: not by me personally - but I've known it to happen) as "not really into the scene" or not "real players". As though - like the topic of homsexuality and bisexuality - you can't be "bi-sexual" ... you're gay and just don't want to admit it. So it's like saying "you're submissive but you just don't want to admit it".

I believe it is possible to be "predominantly dominant", and yet, put your self in submissive situations. But still, as Bruised1 said, you are "topping from the bottom", because all that happens is your express wish.
Yes, it may not be the same as "complete" submission, but you should do what makes you happy. It's your life, YOU make the rules.

[jadez]

I do not subscribe to the use of labels as best I can avoid them. They become necessary when another insists so thus I have to interpret what it is they want me to describe.

I enjoy being whatever it is you want to label me in as many ways as there are colours in a rainbow. You can call me a "switch" because I like to switch positions and be on top. You can call me "gay" or "bisexual" because I like to be with men also. You can call me a "dominant" because I call the shots at home. You can call me "topping from the bottom" as I tell my Domme to jump on me with her heels and make sure all the weight lands and stays on me to feel all the searing heat of the moment.

I think I WILL label you.....
"Multi-faceted, individual" ( That's the "politically correct" term.......<WINK>)

[Jadis]

I do not subscribe to the use of labels as best I can avoid them. They become necessary when another insists so thus I have to interpret what it is they want me to describe.

I enjoy being whatever it is you want to label me in as many ways as there are colours in a rainbow. You can call me a "switch" because I like to switch positions and be on top. You can call me "gay" or "bisexual" because I like to be with men also. You can call me a "dominant" because I call the shots at home. You can call me "topping from the bottom" as I tell my Domme to jump on me with her heels and make sure all the weight lands and stays on me to feel all the searing heat of the moment.

I agree - I detest "labels" ... something I strive to ignore in most cases :) I'd rather be known for myself, my interests and ideals rather than a preconcieved notion of what someone else thinks I should or should not be.

[Jadis]

By the way Jadis, glad to see you back online here. It's been a while hmmm? And do please say hello to Mistress Sara for me as I've missed her too!

Thank you - and yes: it's been a while ... life issues and the like :) But I'm hoping that this is the start of some returning to normal. I don't know that I'll be back as often as I'd like ... but definitely more than before! I'll be sure to pass the message along to Mistress Sara as well - I try to meet with her at least a couple of times for lunch.

[bruised1]

Jadis--it IS lovely to see you back :-) I kinda fell off of the MySpace wagon...sorry. I hope all (or most) is well in your life.


But still, as Bruised1 said, you are "topping from the bottom", because all that happens is your express wish.

Oh, wow. That's twice I've been quoted. I will have to watch what I write to you and Marcus from now on *lol*

Marcus--YOU, sir, area tart. There's a label for ya ;-)

bruised1

[fateugene]

Most gentlemen subscribing to this magnificent forum purport to be submissive. However, do any of you have even a tiny sadistic streak in you? If so, do you enjoy inflicting pain and have you ever trampled a lady ?

Not toward beautiful women... only submission... can't help it.... It's almost an alternative sexuality... Believe me sometimes I wish I could "defeat it"!!!

[equidum]

As you know , Castagnus, I firmly believe that, as a general rule, one can't be both dominant and submissive. It's like the colour of eyes : They are either dark, with hundreds of possible shades, but dark, and therefore, genetically dominant OR they are blue, with hundreds of possible shades too, but light-coloured and therefore, genetically dominated.

I think there are as many dom/subs in the world as there are people with eyes of two different colours,.... very very very rare indeed! (BTW, how do you call these in English ? In French, we call them "vairon"..).

Equidum

[Jadis]

Thank you for the welcome back ... it's so nice to be missed! (now let's just hope it stands for a while - so I can actually enjoy everyone's attention and discussion) I'm doing well, thank you ... busy (I'll have to email you and fill you in on the more personal details) - but we're very happy here xox

Tart ... hehe I rather like that moniker. It suits him ... BOYsenBERRY perhaps? :eyebrows:

It's a good description - someone is dominant or submissive, but various shades there in ... though I still think it possible to be of both inclinations. In fact, I know for a fact - especially in the case of my boy ... he's got a tendancy for the sadistic (he's fantasies of me dominanting him while he's topping a female, not dominating her persay {thats MY job} but of the stronger ilk). Course, he'd never DREAM of dominanting me ... it's just turning out that way.

[bruised1]

Jadis--I somehow doubt you will ever NOT have my attention on here. I benefit from reading about your experiences and opinions. Plus...you're hot *lol*

Please DO write me about what has been going on in your life and I will do the same.

Tart ... hehe I rather like that moniker. It suits him ... BOYsenBERRY perhaps?

BOYsenBERRY!!! Clever. And yes, most appropriate for Marcus.

It's a good description - someone is dominant or submissive, but various shades there in ... though I still think it possible to be of both inclinations.

I happen to know it's possible to be a switch because I am one. People who deny the existence of switches piss me off. They are basically telling me what I am/am not. It's like when folks, straight or gay, tell me that bisexuals don't exist.

Much of my experience outside of the vanilla realm has been as a subby gal to dominant men. I find it much more likely for my dominant side to come out when I'm playing w/ a female. Still, it really matters what the chemistry says.

This topic (and the bisexual one as well) always makes me think of an Ursula LeGuin book, "The Left Hand of Darkness." In it, there is a race that does not live as male or female. They are neuter except during their "kemmer" time. It's a hormonal phase during which their bodies function as one of the two sexes. Which sex their body phases into is dictated by who they are exposed to. As a switch, I relate to this--how I will generally interact w/ another person depends on which side (if either) they bring out in me. My sexuality is not solidified, it's fluid.

I often wonder if Ursula is a kinky bisexual ;-)

bruised1

[Jadis]

Jadis--I somehow doubt you will ever NOT have my attention on here. I benefit from reading about your experiences and opinions. Plus...you're hot *lol*

Please DO write me about what has been going on in your life and I will do the same.

Where would you like the email sent? I can message through Myspace if you're still there or via email ... which ever suits.

Hehe and thank you for the compliment dear ... it's always nice to be flattered by such a darling as yourself -hehe- In fact boy and I were talking about you just last night! (he was curious about what Poly was and you happened to come up in topic ... as well as when we were discussing online schools and homebased education - based on a post of yours in another thread)

This topic (and the bisexual one as well) always makes me think of an Ursula LeGuin book, "The Left Hand of Darkness." In it, there is a race that does not live as male or female. They are neuter except during their "kemmer" time. It's a hormonal phase during which their bodies function as one of the two sexes. Which sex their body phases into is dictated by who they are exposed to. As a switch, I relate to this--how I will generally interact w/ another person depends on which side (if either) they bring out in me. My sexuality is not solidified, it's fluid.

I wrote something similar to this just further up in the thread ... !

Switches are viewed (for what ever reason: not by me personally - but I've known it to happen) as "not really into the scene" or not "real players". As though - like the topic of homsexuality and bisexuality - you can't be "bi-sexual" ... you're gay and just don't want to admit it. So it's like saying "you're submissive but you just don't want to admit it".

[bruised1]

MySpace would be fine. I will reply on there w/ my gmail acct.

Hehe and thank you for the compliment dear ... it's always nice to be flattered by such a darling as yourself -hehe- In fact boy and I were talking about you just last night! (he was curious about what Poly was and you happened to come up in topic ... as well as when we were discussing online schools and homebased education - based on a post of yours in another thread)

*blush* Feel free to ask any questions about poly, online schools, whatever comes to mind...

I can't believe I missed your post reg bisexuals. Obviously we think alike on this topic.


...you can't be "bi-sexual" ... you're gay and just don't want to admit it. So it's like saying "you're submissive but you just don't want to admit it".

In addition to disliking it when people tell me what I am, I dislike it when they imply that I think there is something wrong w/ being gay or submissive. That's EXACTLY what they are implying when they say the stuff you have written above.

bruised1

[bruised1]

Marcus--I actually like labels because the give a general idea of who/what someone is. I think the trouble w/ labels is that many people accept them w/ absolute definitions in mind AND almost all of us are guilty of assigning labels to other people w/o knowing if they personally identify with them. I'm working on both of these issues.

bruised1

[Jadis]

Marcus--I actually like labels because the give a general idea of who/what someone is. I think the trouble w/ labels is that many people accept them w/ absolute definitions in mind AND almost all of us are guilty of assigning labels to other people w/o knowing if they personally identify with them. I'm working on both of these issues.

bruised1

I agree ... labels are a sort of oxymoron: good and bad in the same issue. I personally don't like labels, but then I use them and accept them as an easy means of getting to know someone initially (I mean, think about it: if a man tells you he's submissive {label} then you know what you can or can't do - in a play scene at any rate ... or if a woman is bisexual, you know you can hit on them -lol-).

[Jadis]

So then how would you deal with a "multi-faceted" (perhaps "diamond") man? Any switch way?

I tend to go by the moniker: unique -lol- seems to fit everything ...