Read this plz......It would be kind

[tony_85]

(sorry for my bad English, I’m currently learning this language.) I will be honest here. I’m 17 years old, and shouldn’t be here talking right now. But I think what I have to say is important. I never dared to talk on this forum, I never wanted to show myself as being too young for this forum, but sometimes in life, we have to do some things we don’t want to. Look, a good majority of you are fetishists since you are born, it is as natural and normal as clear water for you. Not everyone, but I guess a lot of you. You know, we’re almost 7 000 000 000 people on this planet, and each of us has its own story to tell. Stories that may be nice, may be sad, just like mine. And I think it’s important I talk about it, for me to face my feelings, and for you to know we’re all different even if we all have the same taste for female feet. I never wanted to be fetishist, but I’m one. I wasn’t like this when I was young, but someone forced me to become one. I was a typical young boy of 6 years old, having fun with no friends. One day, I had to sleep over to my cousin’s house, my parents were away. She was about 13 years old I guess. Her parents weren’t there, she was babysitting me. We decided to play, Police and robber, everyone knows this game, and of course, I was the robber. She caught me, and all began. She tied me up, legs, arms beside me, all. I couldn’t move at all. First it was funny. But when she said that I was now to do all what she would say, it wasn’t a game anymore. I don’t know any of you, but if you really know what “being truly scared” means well tell me! I was so damn scared! I began to scream, but she kicked me in the ribs real hard and told me to stop. I was sacred of her, and besides I began to panick, and real panick I mean. Dammit, I have difficulties to tell you guys, I still remember this scene, It was inhuman. She did everything to me that day. Trampled me, everywhere. She crushed my food, she forced me to smell her feet, to lick them! Same thing for all her shoes, her skates boots, all. She stuffed a sock in my mouth to force me to stop crying and screaming. And when I was trying to move away, she kicked me in the ribs, damn hard kicks for a 6 years old boy. I was losing air each time. During the night, she carefully tied her school shoes over my nose, I still had a sock in my mouht, forced to smell that shoe all night long. But something happened. I was alone in the basement, smelling the shoe, and I wasn’t liking it, I was resisting with all my mind, and body. I kept fighting. But then, I was to tired, and let that power overwhelm me. I was now an official foot fetishist, and my main tastes, were high platformed closed shoes and the like. White socks too…..but who cares, what it want to say, is that for 12 years of my life, nothing of the like happened again. My cousin forgot about it, but I didn’t. I was now living my life, always thinking about feet, shoes. I was always crying, because pain from the past was coming back often. Feelings, bad feelings were haunting me, I was still sacred of anybody knowing my secret. I wasn’t a normal boy I thought!
All my life was like hell for me, and I’m just, these last 6 months, trying to face my past, and accept me like I am. It’s not easy for me to tell it to you fellows, but I wish you all understand.
Here’s the main ida of this thread. I beg you all, please, take care of people surrounding you, take care of yourself, do not try to suicide, I tried, and it wasn’t a great experience. Live you own lives with passion, with love, and live your fetish with people you enjoy to be with. I’m young, I can’t tell you all what to do, but think about it for a while, this forum is a nice place to discuss, and I wish I’m using it the way it should be.
Have nice lives, take care…….
For you John, you can just delete my account, I won’t be sad, I just deserve it, I souldn’t be here. But, keep thinking that at least, it helped me say, what I took 12 years to accept. Thanks to you all.

Tony_85

By the way, here’s my favorite picture…for those who don’t read the threads…….
It’s from www.college-trample.com

[tony_85]

Dammit the pic doesn't work, at least i tried!
I was Alyssia with rollerblades, with the guy underneath them.......well youa ll saw this pic i guess......

[Gizmo]

Read your story,cant make any sense out of it.
If it was such a horrible experience for you that she forced you to do all the things you say she did,i find it strange that you later on have become a fetishist.
As little as i now about psychology,i thought that it was pleasant experiences that made you a fetishist to whatever it might be,not horrible experiences.Its like someone working at a bank who is tied up during a robbery,have to go to a psychologist to help overcome the terrible experience of it but at the same time starts to fantasies about being tied up again,to me,that doesnt make any sense.

You´ll have to excuse me,im NOT saying that you´re lying about your experience,im merely sceptic about the whole thing.
Probably not what you want to hear,but just my point of view of it.

[MistressValerie]

This sounds like a horrible experience, Tony, and I am sorry for whatever happened to you.

Anyone who abuses children or nonconsenting partners should be dealt with to the full extent of the law. If you were abused as a child, you should discuss this with a trusted doctor or other professional. Being a survivor of abuse is not the same as being a willing participant in an alternative lifestyle.

Good luck to you.

[platformsnasics]

Have no doubts or fear. I have a sense for how you feel about your fetish and such. I am 20 years old now and I still consider my fetish and my persona two different entities. There are times when I wish I had never developed this fetish of mine. Sometimes I feel grateful for having something that turns me on that is truly unique to most people's eyes. I will be dead honest with you: it is difficult living with a fetish. Even when it is not a major part of your life, you still feel slightly hindered. It has been difficult handling some of the challenges my fetish gives me. Just don't give up hope, and if possible, embrace your fetish as much as you can. It is much more difficult to ignore it than it is to try to enjoy it.

Even though I have never experience such an event like the one you explained, I do know how you are feeling. I am not sure what else to say but only that you do not need to feel alone about your doubts.

If you have any more questions or need anything else, just let me know. I do not know how the administrators feel about it but I don't see why you couldn't stay on the boards. I am sure we've gone through similiar challenges.

[SaleB]

When i was under 18 in the time of Delphi forum, i was a reader only. But, I cannot understand the admins of many boards and sites. They know their own fetishes and that they are the parts of a personality, even uder a legal age. Why are they then permiting someone to comment something, or talk about something. Now it is a bit diffrent a site may be closed if someone sees a member to be ilegal member, but in these days i could not understand it.

About the bad experiece i would recomand Tony to visit some psycologist and to try to forget and to justify to himself wath happent. With some professional help to analyze it and to go forward with his life.

I have a fetish and a pain lust and i will go to some pro to help my find what triggered these feelings by me. Overyone of us had some experience that was good or bad, a tv show, some doctor or anything that he saw when he was 2-5 yrs old that was tabu. He generated his picture of it and continued his life. I can remember that i was playing with little cars when i was under five. And i also remember that i was imaging some girl (i do not remember who, but in nither of my fantasies was it my mother) sitting in a reallife car and driving it over me. When my moter was beating me i was cryind because i saw other children cry when the are beaten. I kept my differences as a top secret. In the school i found girlfriends that wanted to trample me untill the fourth grade, when they started to understand it as sexual i supose and were ashamed of it. In this period i lost all my female friends and begun to be a freak in their eyes. Then i begun to be abusive and agressive against my friends and affter some serious fight and few days in a hospital i gave my word that i will not fight anymore. The promise i did not break untill this day, but i missed that period 11-16yrs. I lost confidence in girls and have not wanted to be near them.

I'm distancing it from the thema i'll continue it some other time. I lost many nice moments in my life. The only thing that i still need about this fetish is to know what triggered it all, and how, and why me?

I wanted just to say do not be scared to go to psycholoyst or therapyst and that it is nice to have to talk to someone who understands you. I made a few years ago one decision that i still do not know was it wise. I speak freely about my fetish with friends, who does not understand it and does feel that i'm a freak can go. That leaves me the posivbillity to talk to my frindes when i have a problem, even when these things are in question.

I do not know what i wanted to say with this reply, maybe give some support.

SaleB

[tbone]

Tony, I have a sense of what you are saying even though I'm sure it is very confusing to you too.

I cannot go back to one experience, good or bad, that triggered this fetish for me; I just know that I was aware of it from the time I was about 10. I've now been involved in it off and on a lot longer than you've been alive and have had the time and experience to come to some conclusions.

First, it has changed my life. I was involved in it from the time I was about 13 with some neighborhood friends. We didn't understand it then but we were all still friends. It has affected my relationships, though. It doesn't control everything but is a common thread through my character and personality. I ended up repressing a lot of my problems and then reacting inappropriately over time, trying to cover them up and not dealing with them, leading to a period of alcoholism and drug additiction. I'm now recovering from even that and it's in the past.

I did a few things that you're starting to do at a very young age and I encourage you in them.

First, as you're doing here, face your issues, such as this fetish. Talk about it with others who have some experience with it and in their experience you may find some perspective and answers for yourself. You have a great advantage here - you can talk to people who do understand. When I was growing up there was no internet and I had no one who really could help me understand.

But in my experience, be very careful who you do share this with. Most people are pretty intolerant of what they do not understand and this can affect you more as you get a little older, have a family and have to live in a community.

Secondly, as Valerie suggested, it would be very important to find a professional counselor or psycologist who could help you work through the abuse issues. You are young and they do not need to haunt you and control who you are the rest of your life. Don't stay stuck in this; take some action and this is an important step to take. It finally really helped me to do this.

Finally, don't get stuck in yourself. I've learned that it really is true that if you want help, find someone else to help. You have your unique life experience and understanding to offer and can be an important friend to a few people in your life. In helping them you can help yourself in some ways that even the most experienced professional cannot. (Certainly feeling good that you're an important part of someone else's life is part of that.):)

Just a few points of my own life experience and how I began to come to terms with this and many other issues. Been there and done it for a while (I have a son 1 year older than you are.)

Keep communicating and, a step at a time, do something about your issues, as you are starting to here. If you do I promise that, as you get older, it can get better.

My best to you,

Tbone

[jump]

SaleB wrote:

When i was under 18 in the time of Delphi forum, i was a reader only. But, I cannot understand the admins of many boards and sites. They know their own fetishes and that they are the parts of a personality, even uder a legal age. Why are they then permiting someone to comment something, or talk about something. Now it is a bit diffrent a site may be closed if someone sees a member to be ilegal member, but in these days i could not understand it.

Its very different from country to country, and from host to host. In Denmark the legal age for sexual matters are 15 years, in some countries its even 21 years. Even the legal age are 15 in Denmark I have chosed to have an age of 18 years to enter the forums at my site - just not to give the site-host any reason to cancel my site. But I would prefere a clossed room for teens from 15-18 years to discuss, becaurse we know that some people might want to get in contact with the youngsters without anything good in their minds.

Regards
jump

[mediman900]

I never wanted to be fetishist, but I’m one. I wasn’t like this when I was young, but someone forced me to become one

hehe John did you FORCE him? :) :) hehe reminds me of John and lildogs fight :) hehe

anyway tony, dont worry about being 17, im 19 myself almost 20... it doesnt really have to do much with age, its just a fetish and i dont think you should be feeling weird about it, its only a fetish and it isnt such a big deal.. ill tell you foot fetish is probably one of the most common, and probably the least "scary" one of the fetishs out there, have you tried looking for other fetishes out there? there are things that just blow your mind off... i dont really know why it is that you tried to commit suicide, but i agree with you that people should care for others, Tony if you have a gf, you should let her know about your fetish, trust me, we feel its "bad" but to some people it isnt a big deal at all, its just another part of the body and some women( ahem.. my gf) think that its really nice and cute that a guy would like to be around their feet... it sort of makes them feel "special" (not all girls like it of course, but most do, i think).
all i can tell you is to take it easy on yourself buddy, there is nothing wrong with you, nor with anyone of us who use the forum here, we all share the same thing, you shouldnt be so hard on yourself... if you didnt like the experience that you had i dont know why youre into the fetish now.. of course it was scary, for a 6 year old that would be scary but are you sure thats when you started to like fem feet?

take care,

[Luke]

hmmm have to say that im a bit confused by this post aswell.


What you described did not really sound like a traumatic experience for any one here i would venture, more like a fantasy.

I can sympathize that for a 6 yr old kid it could be hell, but you would surely have had to enjoyed it on more than one level for you to become a fetishist afterwards.

What you said about suicide was pretty unexpected, is it because of other things or are you solely attributing it to your fetish?

Im also fairly young, 20, but I am making steps to get a trample site started, buying equipment etc etc. So for me the idea of doing anything different than embracing my fetish seems alien.

I understand that later on in life it may be problematic, but at the moment im a straight shooter about my fetish, and i cant remember when i last had a unsatisfactory outcome to when i tell a chick about my fetish. {my gf is just as keen as me to get the business started}


My advice mate is to just start enjoying your fetish, fully, cause thats obviously why you aquired it in the first place, it aroused and excited you. And if it didnt, then I really dont know what the nature of your fetish is.

l8er

[bustmehard2]

don't know about everyone else...but sounds like FUN to me!

[tony_85]

Well first, Thanks to you all for your replies, I really appreciated it.
I agree with some of you saying my sotry doesn't make any sense, but what I know, are the results. I'm a fetishist, and must face it, and try to live it with passion. I keep thinking that I was scared someone knowing about my fetish, but I making efforts.
I wont consult a psychologist, my gf is a good one! But thanks for advise. When I told my girlfriend about my fetish, I realized it was a good thing, I'll tell you.
We were together for about 2 months, and she asked me if I and somehing wrong. I was always sad, always thinking about my fetish and scared she would flush me if I dared to tell her about it. And, she finally said I wasn't a good boyfriend, I wasn't stable. I then, was really out of control, and i told her everything in a frustated way. I told her She could go away, that even if i loved her, she couldn't stay with me. How she was losing time with a fetishist, I enjoy being trampled and smelling girl's feet! What are you doing with a bizarre guy like me, I don't want to be source of conflicts, if you want a normal boyfriend, go away.
I told her that.
I was frustrated, and yelling, ended up cying of course, i was showing myself, revealing my true form.
She told me: "I love you"
My jaw just dropped to the floor. She loved me. And with her, I learned a lot, that I souldn't think myself as different, she loves me the way I am. And each time I think about it, it makes me feel happy.
Just a little parenthesis.
What I wanted to say in my thread, is, take care of people surrounding you, you may meet someone always sad, hiding a secret. Just take time to meet different people, we all have a different story to tell, and maybe, when we don't say it, it can bring to bad conclusions just like suicide. I lived it, it didn't work. And I'm happy now that it didn't work, because I know live, I fell more and more free.
Take care about people surrounding you, you will probably meet someone in need of an ear to listen him/her.
Like I said, I'm not that old to say this, I don't have as much experience as you all have, but its true. Do not let people fall down.
There's a quote I like, I'll say in it French...
"Celui qui se relève, est plus fort que celui qui est jamais tombé!"

Truly
Tony_85
(again, thanks to all of you, and if you have questions, don't hesitate, I'll be glad to answer and go deeper inmy story, it can just help me!)

[rav]

tony, I am sorry to hear of your experience. THe event that you described is called rape. You were raped when you were 6 yrs old. You should report this to the authorities. If you had have done this to a 6 yr old girl, you would see the seriousness of the matter more clearly!!!!!!

[tony_85]

Well, I never saw things that way, but it may be true.
But think about it, she was only 13 or the like. I think that reporting this to authorities won't help me. And doing it only 12 years after?......I understand the way you see things, but what will I say? She maybe raped me, but I ended up liking it.
Thanks, I will consider it more tho...

Tony_85

[tony_85]

Here's my favorite Picture.
It's from www.college-trample.com

[SaleB]

I like to hear about other peoples problems and life experiences. I cannot help always, but i can analyse it from many diffrent views and give a person the posivbillities to chose form. The best part of it that i have then a new experience and many time a new friend. The toughest part of it is to gain someone's trust. Many times i had an experience that a apsolut stranger tells me about his problems, even not asking for help. Many time i told them that i do not know them and cannot give an advice, but i tell them what i would do at this moment, or what outside parameters would i use to come to right conclusione. Many times it helped.

I think that some of the most important things beside that what tbone already mentioned are to sane of needs. You should not think bad about yourself, just diffrent. Many time i said there is nothing that could you name normal, there are only standard things, and not standard. What is the fetish. The deffinition that is in my mind is: the fetish is some object that you worship, some talisman. The fetishism also can be sexual. It is also "normal" to like boobs or asses or legs of girls, but is not "normal" to like feet or shoes. There is wrongly used a word normal. Some of this things are common and some not, that is only diffrence. On some things are many people used to and on some others, not. That's the only diffrence. You must belive the truth: you are not unnormal, you have the needs as every other one, but with diffrent goal object. And that is all. And another advice do not try to forget your fetish and live a "normal" life, that brought me to some sort of depression state when i tried it (if you were in that situation i can understand that you wanted to kill yourself; do not alow to come in that state again). Be natural, observe people and talk to people that you trust. Some of them will accept it, even when they are not into it, some other will try to understand and ask you to open your heart and explain it to them, and the third will threat it as unacceptable and accept it just because they are your friends. Just be aware to tell it to someone who you trust and not to someone who could blackmail you, maybe. In the first time i used to talk about it with the people about whom i know "something", was not affraid that they would say it to anyone, just to get used to talk about it as every othre thematic.

When i was younger the only thing that i was scared of was that the story comes to school authoities or my family. Now when i am of legal age parent cannot bring me to doc when he thinks that it should be done and if they do not like what they can hear from someone, i can move out from home and find some work, but that is some other story.

That's all from me for now.
SaleB

[Footslave3000]

Well Tony you can count me as a friend. It started when I was 9 years old. As I said before in my story. But it was a consenting for me. But I had to work thru my problems. So count on me as a friend.

[mediman900]

hey Tony!

you can count on me as a friend too! :) Im glad that youre gf accepted you the way you are, see its only us fetishsts that think its hugely embarassing if a family member or someone we know finds out about our little secret.. of course i dont mean go around and tell everyone about it, common sense should say no to that, but as ive always said if youre with a gf or a wife or someone you think you might have a future with its only best if you let them know about you. in light of that they might even let you on some little secret of their on! and seriously i dont think there is anything wrong with liking a girls feet, seriously some girls think its totally cute that a guy would care to pay attention to their feet, and find some find it romantic too... if you got any problems know that youve got friends here you can talk to, after all we all share the same thing, and should be there for one another in time of need.

[tony_85]

I'm glad to see how I get more and more confident on this board. And i'm also really happy to see there are trustable people over here, even if I don't know you.
I must say, this really helped me, to see other people way of thinking, and, I may be more open to this forum. I liked sharing my experience with understanding people.
As far as I know, My gf loves me like I am, and I'm realizing, all what you are saying is true. And i'll make efforts to share and
Thanks to all of you!

Tony_85