Muffy The Vampire Sitter

[Erebus]

Here’s another little something I threw together this afternoon. After you’ve read it, you may wish I’d thrown it somewhere else. Not sure if it really works, but as long as one person likes it and no one wants to drop me off a steep cliff, I’ll be happy.

As usual, I suspect it’s too long to fit into one instalment, so I’ll break it up, though whether the breaking points will be logical is anyone’s guess.

Thanks to Al and Doc, without whom I’d never have dreamt up a good name for the book. (OK, this’ll make sense as you read on!) :)


MUFFY THE VAMPIRE SITTER (with sincere apologies to the tiny blonde goddess and her friends)

The story so far…

After one of Dillow’s spells goes disastrously wrong, the flame-haired vixen opens a doorway out of the demon underworld. Hordes of invincible Rakkel vampires break through into Runnydale, wreaking havoc on the local populace who, as usual, appear to have no viable police force to deal with this sort of thing. Muffy, Miles, Gander and Dillow assemble at the library to discuss their plan of action. The Rakkel have no obvious weakness: stakes, garlic, tickling under the armpits, nothing can harm them. Attacked by one of the vampires, Dillow uses a sleeping spell to render it temporarily unconscious. Miles – Muffy’s bespectacled Watcher – scours the Book of Aldoc for the answer to their dilemma. Suddenly, he finds it. But, sadly, it’s not suitable for mainstream television viewing…

[Erebus]

Muffy’s eyes widened dramatically. Her small, but perfectly formed breasts jerked against the fabric of her tiny T-shirt. ‘You’re telling me they can only be killed by being sat on?’

Miles fiddled awkwardly with his spectacles. ‘I’m afraid so, yes.’

‘I’m not sitting on a vampire’s head,’ protested Gander. ‘No way. Nothing with teeth is going down there.’

‘That won’t be necessary,’ replied Miles. ‘The prophecy is quite specific. The Rakkel vampire can only be defeated by physically attractive 16-year-old schoolgirls.’

‘That is gross!’ cried Muffy.

Miles wiped his spectacles. ‘I suppose if you’re allowed to choose the manner of your death it has – well, certain attractions.’

‘Not if you’re a 16-year-old schoolgirl,’ declared Muffy.

‘An attractive 16-year-old schoolgirl,’ Miles reminded her.

‘Is there such a thing as an unattractive 16-year-old schoolgirl?’ asked Gander. ‘Especially when she’s wearing a tiny pair of–’ He stopped, aware that everyone was staring at him. ‘Ear-rings,’ he cried. ‘I was going to say ear-rings. A tiny pair of–’

Miles sighed and shook his head. ‘Yes, thank you, Gander, I think we get the picture.’

Dillow puffed out her cheeks and looked thoughtful. ‘I had no idea that demons had a say in how they could be zapped. You’d have thought they’d have gone for something a bit more impossible, like, I don’t know, being hit by a comet called Harry.’

‘This isn’t a laughing matter,’ scolded Miles. ‘And even demons have to be sensible sometimes.’

Muffy looked disconsolate. ‘Yes but asking to be sat on?’ She let out a heavy sigh. ‘They couldn’t go for the old stake through the heart, could they? Or a traditional decapitation? Oh no, they had to be bloody different.’

‘Language, Muffy,’ admonished Miles.

Muffy glared at him. ‘Language, Miles? I’ll give you language! If it’s language you want, I’ll–, I’ll–’ But instead she screwed up her fists and squealed at the floor.

‘It could have been worse,’ suggested Miles, in a desperate attempt to console her.

Muffy gave a snort of derision. ‘Could it, Miles? Tell me, please – how could it have been worse?’

‘Well, they might have insisted that you, well, do other things to them. Do I have to spell it out?’

Muffy covered her ears. ‘OK, I’m not listening! This is too yukky for words!’

‘In the meantime,’ said Gander, nodding in the direction of the dozing vampire, ‘what do we do about the big feller?’

Dillow shrugged. ‘The sleeping spell will only keep him subdued for a short while. And it won’t work twice.’

Muffy paled under their collective gaze. ‘Oh, no… You have got to be kidding me. I am not – you cannot be serious.’

Miles drew himself up. ‘Muffy,’ he said in a quiet, even voice. ‘I’m sorry, but it’s the only way. If you don’t – well, to be blunt, if you don’t sit on his head and do whatever it is you’re supposed to, he’ll wake up in a few minutes’ time. And we won’t be able to restrain him. He’s growing stronger by the moment. Quite frankly, he’ll kill us all.’

‘Yes and I haven’t made my will,’ said Gander. ‘Or my bed. So, you know, well, it’s a bit inconvenient.’

Muffy crossed the room, and gazed down at the slumbering nightmare. Drawing a deep breath, she turned to Miles, and her face flushed crimson. ‘Do I have to, you know, I mean, when I’m doing it – if I do it – can I keep my, you know…?’

Miles returned her gaze blankly.

Muffy rolled her eyes in embarrassment. ‘Can I keep my thingies on?’

‘Your thingies?’ repeated Miles. ‘Oh, you mean can you wear your pants?’

‘Miles!’

‘I’m sorry. No, according to the Book of Aldoc, the Slayer must go into battle as naked as the day she was born. It’s very specific.’

‘Oh great!’ sighed Muffy, her shoulders dropping. She looked suddenly very weary. Then straightening her back and thrusting her breasts defiantly forward, she declared, ‘Well, if it has to be done.’

‘There is an upside,’ said Miles, cheerfully. ‘If it’s any consolation.’

Muffy looked doubtful. ‘Oh I need consolation, Miles. I need big consolation.’

‘Apparently, you’ll enjoy the most intense orgasm you’ve ever had.’

‘I’m sorry? Come again?’

‘Apparently you will,’ said Miles. ‘Again and again!’

Muffy tilted her head towards the ceiling, the flimsy fabric of her T-shirt stretched around her long, cork-shaped nipples. She wasn’t in the mood for humour.

‘You’d better all get out,’ she said, making up her mind. ‘I mean, if I have to do this thing then I’m not selling tickets.’

‘Not even for cash?’ asked Gander.

Muffy frowned.

‘I don’t think that’s a good idea,’ said Miles.

‘You think plastic would be the safer option?’ said Gander. ‘That’s cool. I have plastic. Look! American Express.’

‘Gander, that’s a library card,’ said Dillow.

‘I’ve been robbed!’ cried Gander.

Muffy ignored him. ‘Why isn’t it a good idea, Miles?’

There was silence, broken by Gander’s plaintive squeal. ‘Yes. Tell her why it’s not a good idea, Miles. Tell her quickly before she loses interest.’

‘It’s not a good idea because there will be times – quite possibly many times – when you will have to subdue a Rakkel vampire in front of other people. And when that happens, well, there’ll be no time for false modesty.’

‘Believe me, Miles, my modesty isn’t false. This is real modesty. This is very real modesty! This is the well from which all modesty springs.’

‘You must be brave, Muffy,’ said Miles. ‘For the sake of the world.’

‘I’m not doing it in front of the world!’

‘It’ll just be us,’ he reminded her.

‘Would it be a good idea to take a photo?’ asked Gander. ‘You know – for posterior. I mean posterity. Posterity!’

‘No, it wouldn’t be a good idea, Gander,’ retorted Muffy. ‘Not unless you’ve suddenly lost all interest in living.’

‘Hey, it was just a suggestion. I don’t need a photo. I’m fine with just looking. That’s cool.’

Muffy frowned. ‘When the book says, “naked as the day she was born”, it’s just referring to my bottom half, right? Only–’

‘Yes that’s fine,’ said Miles. ‘Just the – well, just the bits that matter, you know.’

‘Do I have to do it any particular way round? I mean with my ass or my – well, my other place.’

‘Your other place?’

‘My pussy, Miles! My frigging pussy!’

‘Oh!’ Now it was Miles’ turn to blush. ‘I – I don’t think it matters. The Book of Aldoc is …erm… silent on the point.’

‘At last it’s silent,’ sneered Muffy. ‘It couldn’t have been silent from the start. But now it draws the line. That’s helpful.’

‘I suppose whichever way you feel more comfortable. That would do.’

‘I’m not comfortable either way, Miles. I’d be comfortable with waking up and finding this was all a dream. Does the Book of Aldoc have anything to say on that?’

‘Unfortunately, no.’

‘No, I didn’t think it would. There’s never a “This is all a dream and you’ll wake up any minute page” when you want one.’

‘Talking of waking up, Muffy…’

The vampire was beginning to stir.

‘Oh, great...’

[Erebus]

[And, finally...]

‘Time to get ‘em off!’ cried an excited Gander. Then froze – again. ‘What?’ he asked, backtracking desperately. ‘I mean … “Get HIM off!” Get him off … all our backs. That sort of get ‘em off. You know.’

‘Grow up!’ said Muffy, and turned her back on him. He stuck out his tongue. ‘You wish,’ she murmured, staring down at the monstrous shape on the library floor. The heavily scarred face began to move. He was almost awake.

Muffy hoisted up her skirt, and eased her fingers into the waistband of her thong. With a deep breath, she tugged the tiny silk pants down over her hips.

Gander inched forward. ‘You want that I should look after them for you?’ he inquired in a shaky voice. ‘So you can keep your hands free? In case he attacks you?’

Muffy glared, and he retreated swiftly. ‘I was just trying to be helpful,’ he muttered.

Muffy rolled her eyes, looked at her pants, then stuffed them into her shirt. ‘Let’s get this over with,’ she grimaced.

At that moment, the vampire opened his eyes. A look of first confusion, then delight crossed his twisted features.

‘Slayer!’ he grinned. ‘Long have I yearned to taste your flesh!’

Muffy shrugged. ‘Whatever!’ Then she swung her leg across his chest and scrambled up his body. Raising her skirt she exposed her cunt. It was long, plump and hairless. Gander fell to the floor with a thump, but Muffy took no notice. Instead she returned the vampire’s smile coldly. ‘Is this the flesh you yearned to taste?’

The Rakkel vampire’s eyes blazed, and his face blanched. ‘Noooo!’ he screamed. ‘I will not eat pussy! I am Frazok the Mighty! I cannot be defeated!’

‘Hello. I’m Muffy – the Vampire Sitter. And oh, look – a face!’

Her hands moved in a blur, fingers tracing arcs around his huge, mottled ears, seizing hold of his head, dragging his face up into her damp, trembling vulva. Frazok screamed, then gagged, and then his entire body jacknifed fiercely.

‘Hold him down!’ cried Muffy. ‘I’m not sure I can take him on my own!’

In some confusion, her two companions stumbled forward, sidestepping Gander’s prone, unconscious body. They took hold of Frazok’s arms, legs, whatever they could grab without being knocked senseless. He fought them furiously, his monstrous form arching skywards, Muffy’s long, slender legs wrapped around his shuddering head.

‘I can’t hold him, Miles!’ screamed Muffy. ‘He’s going to shift me!’

‘You mustn’t let him! You must hang on!’ exhorted Miles, one arm wrapped around the vampire’s left leg, the other still clutching at his book. A sudden thought struck him. ‘Dillow!’ he cried. ‘You’re sixteen!’

‘No I’m not!’ protested Dillow. ‘I only look 16. I’m much older, actually. I’m nearly 24!’

‘You’ve got to help Muffy!’ he yelled, almost losing his grip as Frazok heaved wildly. ‘Take your panties off and sit on her lap. Two of you might hold him down!’

‘Can’t I keep them on?’ she asked. ‘I mean he can’t see much, can he? He won’t know.’

‘He’ll know!’ gasped Miles, struggling to keep a grip on Frazok’s huge limb.

‘Oh fiddle!’ cried Dillow, unzipping her skirt and letting it drop to the floor. ‘No peeking!’ she cried as she plunged her hands under the waistband of her pants and tugged them down.

‘I’ve got other things on my mind!’ cried Miles, finally relinquishing his book and holding on with both arms to Frazok’s lurching feet.

Dillow came round to the front and looked embarrassed. Unlike Muffy, her plump quim was swathed in a mass of bright red curls, a tangle of luxuriant hair masking her damp, generous slit.

‘Room for one on top?’ she asked meekly.

‘Climb aboard!’ yelled a grateful Muffy.

Trapped between the Slayer’s legs, his nose and mouth squashed inside her fat, dribbling cunt, Frazok let out a blood-curdling roar, his screams smothered by Muffy’s boiling flesh. His eyes rolled back as Dillow clambered forward, and he caught sight of her long, greasy channel as she came over him. Almonds of juice broke free from the mouth of her sex, dribbled down her thighs and onto his face. Muffy, too, was leaking furiously, her pussy soft and warm, pearls of excitement oozing from the depths of her body.

‘Oh, my God!’ she cried, ‘I’m going to come!’

‘Me, too!’ squealed Dillow, holding tightly onto her friend, their breasts mashed against each other, their faces close, their mouths opening in a maddened flurry of delight. The pair of them began to bounce together, screaming, weeping, cursing with pleasure.

Without warning, Frazok’s body jolted, almost throwing them from the saddle of his face. His back arched to breaking point and he screamed his defeat into Muffy’s victorious vulva.

The ground cracked beneath them. There was a thud, and a cloud of dust blew up from nowhere, coating their skin, blinding their eyes. Breaking apart, the two girls saw that they were sitting on the library floor, their legs splayed, their faces hot, damp and salty. Frazok had gone, the only reminder of his existence a pile of thin grey cinders.

‘That was something else,’ muttered Muffy.

‘It was,’ repeated Dillow. ‘It was definitely something else.’

Muffy grinned. ‘Kinda cool,’ she said. ‘In a kinky way that I don’t think I’m supposed to enjoy, so we’ll say no more about it.’

Dillow shrugged. ‘On the other hand….’

‘I have four fingers and a thumb,’ giggled Muffy, still shaking softly. She frowned. ‘This is going to take some getting used to.’

‘Do you think we’ll need to practise?’ asked Dillow.

‘Oh, yes,’ said Muffy. ‘Practice is most definitely what we must do. Lots and lots of practice. Don’t you agree, Miles?’

She turned around, but Miles wasn’t there. He was lying a few feet away, on his back, groaning, winded by a final blow from Frazok’s leg before the vampire had disintegrated. Gander lay beside him, moving slowly as he finally began to come round.

Muffy and Dillow exchanged a look of girlish delight. ‘Practice,’ they said at the same time. ‘We definitely need a lot of practice.’

They climbed to their feet and walked across to where the two men lay, then knelt down quickly, legs either side of their companions’ heads.

Gander and Miles gazed up into a forest of flesh and fur.

‘Remember us?’ said Muffy…

And then it all went quite beautifully dark…

[TripleSITme]

great story! thanx:theband:

[Logan]

Great story, very creative.

[muffdog]

Welcome back Erebus - you've been away too long (but not lost your touch tho')
Muffdog:)

[theboysavage]

There's only one Erebus

[E.Rotique]

Brilliant! Love your humour Erebus. It seems too long since I've read one of your witty stories. It's like there's never an Erebus around when you need one and then, all of a sudden.......

Have you heard from Doc lately? His wisdom is sorely missed too. I wonder if he'll be reincarnated in another being?
:2guns: :beer: :thumbsup: :bananawav :worship:

[AceViper64]

i am quite the fan of the series and the story you wrote went along well.

I loved the whole story and would be pleased to see more follow up stories
maybe even including
Fawn
Kara
Onya
if you know what i mean.

either way excellent story!

[AceViper64]

if any one could make pictures to go
along with this story i would greatly
appreciate it.


Here are some of my own...
they are poser 4
maybe not perfect but............

[Rich]

Are you sure you don't write for the show??? :p
As I was reading I could actually picture all the characters in my mind.
You wrote it so well; they could use it on the show. :eek: Well; might be kinda hard to use it as is on the show. Butt; change a few things around and hey!! could happen! ;)
Thanks for sharing your talent with us. And please; share some more!!!! :D

[Rich]

Ace Viper 64
Please tell me what program you used to make that pic!
I really......really........really want to buy the program to play with! :eyebrows: :whip:

[al-uk]

as always its great to read your posts --- Erebus!

also it really is time a facesitting soap was started....

Suffocation street?

Bottom enders?

[AceViper64]

they are poser 4 pics

poser 4

however poser 5 has been released
i just dont have it yet.

http://www.curiouslabs.com/

that is the website for the program.

this is a web site of mine that i have posted much of my poser 4 work on.

http://groups.yahoo.com/group/PFDW/

[Ste Letto]

Hi Erebus,

I just have to say that story is great. Stories like that are what keep me coming back to this site. Sometimes coming here is like Christmas Day. That story certainly made it feel like that today. People are right when they say you got the characterisation exactly right. Incredible stuff. More please.

[Pete96uk]

Great story, Erebus.
You *do* have a way with words. You make it look so easy.
Luv to hear some more adventures of Muffy......pleeease.

Thanks again, great stuff.
:D :D :D :D :D

[Rich]

Thanks Ace. It's a rather expensive program Huh? :eek:

[Erebus]

Thanks to everyone who's taken the trouble to reply. It's not always easy (I know!), and I appreciate all the kind comments.

Thanks, too, to those of you above who post your own stories/pics etc. Everyone who makes an effort, in whatever way and however infrequently, helps keep the board alive.

And I love the Muffy/Buffy pics, Ace!

All the best to you all,

E

PS And thanks for not wanting to throw me off a steep cliff! :)

[Dahc_Cussion]

DUUUDEE, you rule, i am a Huge Buffy Fan, and that story, deserves to be framed. If you have the time, could you please continue that story, and many more, you are by far the best story teller since Cactus Juggler

[chairboy]

very creative, erebus. very realistic, also. i like the way you write how 'miles' pushes his glasses up, etc....like a true boffin.
as earlier put, i could picture those moments all the way thru.

al-uk, personally i like suffocation street, although as i'm sure you'd agree wouldn't mind 'appearing' in either.:o

[Scorpio]

Thats the first of your work that I have read, won't be last tho I hope. Very funny, made me giggle out loud.

Keep up the good work, will look forward to the next story.

[stevo28]

Excellent story erebus, I could almost picture it happening. Don`t think I`ll be able to watch Buffy again without thinking of your story.
If you have time PLEASE continue the story.
Regards
Steve

[Erebus]

Thanks again, for all the replies. It helped, being able to 'picture' the characters as I wrote - and I'm pleased so many of you not only watch 'Buffy' (otherwise a lot of the story might have fallen flat), but feel that it worked. If I can think of any way of continuing this one, I will - though it may prove a one-hit wonder. Not sure if I could recapture the 'fun' element again.

I like the 'soap' ideas, though as I haven't watched any for years, I think I may have to give them a miss. Anyone keen to be sat on by Ena Sharples? (Or do only Al and I go back far enough to know who I'm talking about?) Vera Duckworth? (Help! That might actually cure me!)

Possibly I need to visit Manchester and interview young Jenny for a starring role in my next epic. I'd have to wear a false beard in order to protect my identity, so there'd be a danger she'd laugh all the way through, but for all the wrong reasons. But I think I could live with that...

If anyone hasn't read my previous story effort on this board, it's hiding out about a million places below, and is entitled, 'Darla The Demon Smotherer'. (No relation to Darla of Buffy/Angel fame, I hasten to add.) I'd bring it up to the top, but I suppose that would be cheating.

I'll be back...

Thanks again :)