There seems to be a hugely disproportionate no of dominant women for submissive men

[Miss Belladonnah]

There seems to be a hugely disproportionate number of dominant women for submissive men, certainly in terms of The Forum’s membership and contributors. I lose count of the number of experiences I’ve read on The Forum that lament the fact that wives or girlfriends do not have a sexual preference for being dominant.

There are many women with dominant personalities in the world. They are strong, intelligent, confident, hardworking and often attractive yet the majority of these women do not seem to be turned on by playing the dominant role in the bedroom. I say this because there just doesn't seem to be many of us. While I accept that the two should not necessarily follow, I would have imagined that a significant amount of dominant women would have the proclivity to assert themselves in the bedroom too.

Most submissive men and men with submissive desires seem to be without appropriate partners. Why?

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Miss Belladonnah.

[couchman]

I believe the answer to your question lies in the way women perceive their own sexuality. A woman's sexual feelings are closely related to her maternal instinct for nesting and procreating the species. Instinctively, her sexual feelings have romantic overtones, consciously or not, towards men. She may have a dominant personality, but it does not reach into her sexual sphere. We men, on the other hand, are all a bunch of whores. We can and do sexualize nearly everything, hence the thousands of different fetishes we develope, fetishes which are the cornerstone of femdom roleplaying. Alas, a woman may partake in femdom role play to please a man or-- even more sadly-- for money, but not many women are actually turned on by it. That's probably not what male subs out there want to here.

[Miss Belladonnah]

I believe the answer to your question lies in the way women perceive their own sexuality. A woman's sexual feelings are closely related to her maternal instinct for nesting and procreating the species. Instinctively, her sexual feelings have romantic overtones, consciously or not, towards men. She may have a dominant personality, but it does not reach into her sexual sphere. We men, on the other hand, are all a bunch of whores. We can and do sexualize nearly everything, hence the thousands of different fetishes we develope, fetishes which are the cornerstone of femdom roleplaying. Alas, a woman may partake in femdom role play to please a man or-- even more sadly-- for money, but not many women are actually turned on by it. That's probably not what male subs out there want to here.

Thank you for responding (I was beginning to give up on this thread – lol).

An interesting and considered response. I take many of the points made. Nature has programmed both men and women to continue the species. I take your point that there is a biological argument for why a woman’s sexuality is largely inspired by the need to procreate. I also share your view that men are more sexually driven than women generally. Never underestimate the power of a man’s sexual response! Lol.

I would add to the above argument that women are generally attracted to men who are dominant and when dating, enjoy inducing a male to chase her. Perhaps this extends to the female finding that being sexually submissive is arousing.

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Miss Belladonnah.

[bustedballboy]

I've been surprised browsing one of the bdsm boards to see that submissive women appear to have much the same problem finding decent dominant men. So I start to wonder whether the problem is that subs outnumber doms in general, rather than a problem of men outnumbering women.

just a thought

bbb

[Miss Belladonnah]

I've been surprised browsing one of the bdsm boards to see that submissive women appear to have much the same problem finding decent dominant men. So I start to wonder whether the problem is that subs outnumber doms in general, rather than a problem of men outnumbering women.

just a thought

bbb

Your thought is a valid one and provides an interesting slant to the discussion.

As an aside, I did a little research after reading your post and found that there are three men for every woman in the lifestyle. The author believes that women are less likely to 'come out' as BDSM players. I do not know how credible this source is but if true, it could help to explain why most submissive men seem to be without appropriate partners.

Returning to your point, another source stated that there is only one male dom for every ten female subs. If this is the case then your argument is certainly worthy of consideration.

Thank you for your response bustedballboy.

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Miss Belladonnah.

[slavesteven]

Just about every forum I've been to (including non bdsm ones) there has been more men then women. For whatever reason, women don't seem to like to post on forums as much as men do. Maybe because all we men do is argue over stupid stuff and trade pictures.

Women do like to blog, however. I've seen way more blogs by dominant women then by submissive men.

Men are more simple creatures when it comes to sex. We're not necessarily more sexual, we're just less complicated. We require less. All we need is a picture to turn us and we can satisfy ourselves completely. Women generally need more. They need romance, they need to be touched, they need to feel desired. Men can just jack off to porn all day and that can keep them satisfied.

[Miss Belladonnah]

Just about every forum I've been to (including non bdsm ones) there has been more men then women. For whatever reason, women don't seem to like to post on forums as much as men do. Maybe because all we men do is argue over stupid stuff and trade pictures.

Women do like to blog, however. I've seen way more blogs by dominant women then by submissive men.

Men are more simple creatures when it comes to sex. We're not necessarily more sexual, we're just less complicated. We require less. All we need is a picture to turn us and we can satisfy ourselves completely. Women generally need more. They need romance, they need to be touched, they need to feel desired. Men can just jack off to porn all day and that can keep them satisfied.
Thank you for your response, slavesteven.

When it comes to sexual arousal, not sex, men can be more simple creatures than women. But when it comes to sex, men are by far the more complex creatures. I think the stereotype tends to be that women have sex for love and men have sex for pleasure.

What you describe: just needing a picture to turn you on and jacking off to porn all day to keep satisfied, is not sex in my opinion. Sex needs two participants.

A women simply needs to be aroused and then enjoys a sizeable hard cock, length and girth, inside her and used well.

A man can be into one of many of the millions of specific fantasies that exists in his mind, at the time. Many enjoy being dominated by a woman and there exist many variations of domination. And this is where men are complicated.

My observation is I lose count of the number of experiences I’ve read on The Forum that lament the fact that wives or girlfriends do not have a sexual preference for being dominant.

My question is, most submissive men and men with submissive desires seem to be without appropriate partners. Why?

--
Miss Belladonnah.