No wonder the British are disturbed!

[Scorpio]

This was sent to me in a e-mail by my brother, I enjoyed it so much I had to share with it you guys!!


For those of you who don't have kids or are far too young to remember the splendid children's TV programme "Rainbow", this may be a little lost on you ... but it must have been a great episode to watch! Almost too ridiculous to believe ... This is taken from an original Rainbow script and there's no way this could have been done by Accident. Innuendo all the way.

For you non-Brits "Rainbow" was a childrens TV programme in the 1970's hosted by a adult human Geoffrey with two puppets, Zippy a large yellow creature with a zip-up mouth and George a large pink hippotamus. Bungle was man dressed as a teddy bear, the others are people who ocassionally join them in the house where the main characters live together.

The sketch opens with Zippy peeling a banana ...

Zippy: "One skin, two skin, three skin, four"

George: "Zippy, where is Bungle?"

Zippy: "I think Geoffrey is trying to get him up"

We see a view of the door and hear Bungle moaning from behind it.

Bungle: "Geoffrey, I can't get it in"

Geoffrey: "You managed it last night"

Bungle: "I know, lets try it round the other way. Ooooooh, I've got it in"

Bungle and Geoffrey enter the studio with Bungle carrying a hammer and peg kit.

Bungle: "Would you stick this on the shelf, George"

George: "I can't reach, you'll have to stick it up yourself.

Geoffrey (to camera) "Hello everyone, today we are talking about playing"

Bungle: "Playing with each other, Geoffrey?"

Geoffrey: "Yes Bungle, do you have a special friend that you like to play with?"

George: "Yesterday we played with each other's balls. Are we going to play with our friend's balls today?

Bungle: "Yes, and we can play with our twangers as well."

Geoffrey (to camera) Have you seen Bungles twanger?

Zippy: "Oh I have, I showed him how to pluck with it."

Bungle: "It's my plucking instrument."

Geoffrey asks the audience if they can pluck like Bungle

Zippy: "I can, I'm the best plucker here."

George: "And I'm good at banging. My peg's hard isn't it Zippy?"

Zippy: "Well of course it is, your peg wouldn't go in if it was soft."

Geoffrey: "Let's get back to Bungle's twanger."

Bungle: (excited) "Oooooh Geoffrey, we could all play with our twangers couldn't we? Let's play the plucking song. Rod and Freddy can get their instruments out and Jane has got two lovely Maracas."

Singers Rod, Freddy and Jane enter.

Freddy: "We could hear you all banging away"

Rod: "Banging can be fun."

Jane: "Ooooh yes, and I was banging away all last night with Rod and Freddy."

Freddy: ( looking sad ) "Yes, but it broke my plucking instrument."

Rod: (to Jane) "Do you want to blow on my pipe while I'm twanging away?"

Jane: "Oh no, I was banging away with Freddy last night. But would you like to play with my maracas?

Zippy; "No, let's just pluck away with our twangers."

George: "Yes, it doesn't matter what size our twanger is."

Zippy: "I've got a big red one."

George: "I've only got a tiny twanger. But it works well and I like to play with it."

Geoffrey: (to viewers) "Well, have you got your twangers out? And remember, you can bang your balls at the same time. If you haven't got any, ask a friend if you can play with his. Now, let's all play the plucking song."

Everyone in studio: "Pluck, pluck, pluck along, we're going to pluck all
day."

Apparantly the scriptwriter and the director got the sack, but not until after the show had been broadcast and several complaints from parents had been received!

[Craver]

OMFG!...You have to be kidding.

I'm pretty sure I remember that show, though certainly not that episode (We've always got a lot of Brit programming in Canada)

Although...maybe I did see it and that's the reason I'm such a sick pervert...hmmm...

VERY amusing, Miss Scorpio.

[echair]

Very phunny indeed!

echair

[smotherman]

LOL that sounded like a funny episode,Thanks for sharing that with us,I wish the states would get some british shows.:D

[chairboy]

:D:D:D:D
thanks scorpio, that was hilarious......
people reading that who have never seen that programme probably won't find it as funny, as what made it funny for me was picturing all the characters saying those things and their voices and everything.....

[dragonslair39]

I want that episode.

[mickyp123]

Like that, what about good old Captain Pugwash, remember the characters, Seaman Stains, Master Bates and Roger the Cabin Boy
Spike Milligan wrote it and the thing ran for a couple of years before someone at the beeb caught on. tehe

[gusset_addict]

so that explains why i'm a sick twisted individual......all that subliminal messaging from Geoffrey and co as a kid and i never knew it

I blame Benny hill for my facesitting obsession though! now there was a guy whos face saw some nice ass. lucky devil!

[Richy]

More funy stuff from British TV. Sadly, not filth, though - just stuff that proves that the average IQ in my country is probably in the low double figures (maybe that's being too generous...)

Any one else remember 'Family Fortunes'? With Les Dennis?

(The questions were easy - like " What G is green and grows in the garden?". First one to press the buzzer and have an answer that the studio audience picked, got the points.)

My favourite has got to be...
"Name a dangerous race". And the person said "The Arabs". (Nice one, Einstien - "and our survey said - you're a moron")

Here are some other real question/answers...

Name something a blind person might use - A sword
Name a song with moon in the title - Blue Suede Moon
Name a bird with a long neck - Naomi Campbell
Name an occupation where you need a torch - A burglar
Name a famous brother and sister - Bonnie & Clyde
Name an item of clothing worn by the Three Musketeers - A horse
Name something that floats in the bath - Water
Name something you wear on the beach - A deckchair
Name something Red - My cardigan
Name a famous cowboy - Buck Rogers
Name a famous royal - Mail
Name a number you have to memorise - 7
Name something you do before going to bed - Sleep
Name something you put on walls - a roof
Name something in the garden that's green – My Shed
Name something that flies that doesn't have an engine - A bicycle with wings
Name something you might be allergic to - Skiing
Name a famous bridge - The bridge over troubled waters
Name something a cat does - Goes to the toilet
Name something you do in the bathroom - Decorate
Name an animal you might see at the zoo - A dog
Name something associated with the police - Pigs
Name a sign of the zodiac - April
Name something slippery - A conman
Name a kind of ache - Fillet 'O' Fish
Name a food that can be brown or white - Potato
Name a jacket potato topping - Jam
Name a famous Scotsman - Jock
Name another famous Scotsman - Vinnie Jones
Name a non-living object with legs - Plant
Name a domestic animal - Leopard
Name a part of the body beginning with 'N' - Knee
Name a way of cooking fish - Cod
Name an occupation where you might need a torch - A burglar
Name a type of large cat - Persian
Name something you associate with crashing - Windows
Name a type of record - A Floppy Disk
Name something with a Red Light on it - A Dalek
Name something that would scare Dracula – Bob Monkhouse
Name something with a hole in it – A window
Name a food you don’t have to chew – Chips
Name a scary animal – A squirrel
Name something you wear on the beach - A deck-chair

[Scorpio]

I am so pleased that you all enjoyed this, I had to share it with you as I have not laughed so much in ages, as Chairboy says it is so much more amusing if you can imagine the voices of the characters saying it.

How could I not remember Captain Pugwash it was brilliant! and so innocent looking!

I was never a fan of Family Fortunes but really enjoyed those questions and answers, sent them on to my brother to brighten his Monday morning when he gets to work!!

Scorpio ;)