The last three weeks

[Canadian Mike]

Cancer, merely a name to some, especially to me untill four short years ago. I sit here with tears of hurt flowing freely down my face as I struggle to come to grasp with the past three weeks. This isn't a memorial, but a testimonial of a man who has worked hard most of his life, who has always been there form me and others in my family, a man who cares for others, but someone who has such difficulty showing emotions, a aman who would willingly give the shirt off his back for a stranger in need...his name is Ray. As I write these humble words, he lays in a local hospital facesing the challenge of his life. These past three weeks have truly been more than I could bare, and yet this is such a small part of what Ray faceses each passing day. Cancer, which has massed itself into his brain, now deaf in one ear, almost blind in one eye, he crys tears of such fear. I struggle to maintian composure and am forced to look away when my selfish pain takes control of my emotions. I swear that I am coming apart at the seems, my frequent moments of smothering and facesitting are my only relief, selfish as it may. It's not that this selfless man is dying that troubles me so, as dying is as much of life as birth. It's the pain that he suffers, the obvious fear in his eyes, the degrading lack of control that he now faces that stabs through my heart. So why am I writing this testimonial here? I write it in hopes of Prayer for Ray, a prayer of peace for him, not more nightmares that cause him to tremble iand cry out n the night, no more pain as this disease ravishes his mind, a prayer for simple peace.

I beg you all who might believe in something after this life to pray with me for my stepfather Ray.

CM

[shirty]

thoughts and prayers for your father ray

[echair]

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your stepfather...

echair

[onetwothree]

thoughts and prayers all the way for ray....may he get better

[sitterfan]

my thoughts go out to ya, and your friend, my best advice, is just let him know your there for him, as people tend to stay away, in times like this...godspeed!!!

[John]

Our thoughts are with you and yours, Mike....

[Puppy Gumpers]

My thoughts and prayers are with you....

[yosi]

Canadian Mark

I know these are very hard times for you.
you have to be strong and I hope there is still a chance.

about 3 years ago, the doctors found cancer in my body,
they gave me 6 more months to live, but I won my life
and now I am happy to say that that I am healthy and
NO MORE CANCER for me.

so if there still hope, do your best for him, be with him
in these hard times, our life is the most precious gift
that was given to us, so do your best to keep it.

(and this is why I always say : enjoy life.......:) )
yosi

[guntroubles]

Mike my thoughts are with you during this hard time.

I think that Yosi's words sum it up very well.

Although this is a fetish forum it is always great how people take seek and receive comforting words from people all over the world.

I watched my own father die over a period of years. He came back from deaths door many times and had a long life. Then one night he just passed unconcious and very slowly died before my eyes. It was strangley peaceful watching his breathing slow down until he finally gave once last deep breath and passed on.

All you can do is be there for him and your family but you need not feel sellfish for wanting moments to escape- we are only human and we cope as best we can.

Look after yourself Mike.

[al-uk]

Mike,
I'm thinking of you and hoping that your stepfather recovers.
All the best
Al.

[fijibitch]

I'm with you mate.

[stevo28]

Mike

Our thoughts are with you and your family.
Regards
Steve

[Canadian Mike]

wow, thank you all so much for the kind and comforting words. it is nice to know that there are people out there who understand when times are diffcult. Unfortunately RAy will not survive this. His pain is out of this world and he is depressed, cries all the time, lost ot fear. Guess it is all getting to me. My entire family puts on a brave and positive face for him in the hospital.

Again, thanks so much. believe it or not all of your thoughts make a difference to me.


CM

[Kyle_Narshadaa]

My thoughts and prayers are with you Mike. Sorry i came to late on this thread.
I know a lot of cancer patients as well and i can relate to that. But the thoughts and prayers of people always replace any negativity or ill feelings during the stages of advanced neoplasia.

So theres a prayer from Kyle to your kin, Ray, Mike and hope it alleviates the spiritual burden that the pethidine cannot alleviate !!!

[Lone Stranger]

Hang in there.

Our prayers are with you.

Later~

[chairboy]

mike,
rest assured that you and your family will be in our thoughts.

[Ste Letto]

Canadian Mike,

your upset and pain are nothing to be ashamed of, nothing to feel selfish or bad about. You clearly care about your stepfather, you clearly don't want him suffering the way he is. It is only natural for you to be upset. My mother has to have cataract surgery this coming thursday, she is very frightened. It upsets me to know she is frightened. I want to comfort her and save her from the feelings. You have a friend who is suffering, it is only natural, loving and human for you to be upset. So let yourself be upset, find a shoulder or a place somewhere and let yourself be angry, tearful or whatever. (This is part of the process of bereavement, and only to be expected)

Your stepfather must know how much you care for him. That will be comfort if comfort there can be in what he is going through right now. Be there as much as you can for him (I don't need to say that, I have no doubts you already are.)

Be assured that you both will be in my prayers tonight and for some time to come. I do have faith in a higher power, and in meaning and purpose. I don't know if your stepfather will recover, but I do believe he will go to a better place if he dies.

[ittisme]

Mike, Prayers do work!!! You've got believe; true belief is where the power comes from. My thoughts and prayers are with you and yours for the BEST possible outcome. The Supreme Power has a plan for alll of us.

[kitten]

I'm no religious man, so I can't pray for him or you. But my thoughts are with both of you in these hard times. I hope the thoughts I, and everyone else on this board, send will help in some strange and mysterious ways.

[Canadian Mike]

Again, I thank you all for your encouraging and kind words. it truly is an hour of need and in some ways I feel comforted by all of your thoughts.


Thanks


CM

[Rennoch]

mike i understand what you're going through to a degree. doc's told me i got until my 30th birthday. but people have beaten the timetables, and i sincerely wish the gods grant you and your faimly to strength to deal with this, and the grace to cherise the time that's left.

a motto i live by since the day i was told, "it's not how much time you have, it's what you do with it that matters."

i shall add your father to my prayers to the gods. may they guide you home.

[editor]

'Çanadian Mike' i haven't taken any notice of this topic untill now cause the header didn't gave me any reason for it.
Too bad that this is happening to you since you and i have come a long way
when we talked about fetish thoughts.

If i remember correctly you were the only person who contacted me after something 'bad'happened with my fetish catalogue online.
So... the least i can do in these hard times for you is saying a prayer for you and wish you all the best and strenght .

[eyeshot]

My thoughts are with you Mike.

[ffflame]

My first (and probably last) post here. I'm more of a passive member..

My thoughts are with you and your family.
Hang in there and don't be ashamed of your feelings, at the end they are all what we really got.

Strength to you all, life has funny way of prevailing !!

[herfacechair]

Good luck Mike and I hope for the best for your father.

[bill512]

best of luck, Mike. Here I was writing a story about my boyhood fantasy, ever since I watched this old movie where this blonde lady sat on a guy and then got up and he was gone in the water (I didn't know he drowned, my vivid imagination went: holy macaronni she's got poison or something under her skirt). And there you were giving me some words of encouragement. You're much appreciated on this board, and I hope things work out for you.

Best Regards,
Bill

[sinbad]

My thoughts are also with you Mike. I'm sorry for what is happening to your family and your father's life. I've seen cancer take many family and friends. It does not discriminate. But it seems to take all the good people away from us. I only hope that the suffering he is endoring will end soon and peace will be given to him as he deserves.
All my sympathy,
Sinbad.

[Canadian Mike]

All of your thoughts and prayers are truly touching. All of your advice is honestly taken. I feel giutly to some degree because it's my own emotioned to drew me to the board to confess the pain and suffering of my stepfather. We took him out of the hospuitall this evening to feed the ducks in the city park. I was so amazed at how he has deteriated these past few weeks. He looks tired and confused by it all. As I left the hospital I found myself truly wishing that his life would end soon. Losing someone is a natuaral process, but seeing them like this is simply not right.

Thanks again dear readers. I am so moved by all of your posts.


CM

[Canadian Mike]

All of your thoughts and prayers are truly touching. All of your advice is honestly taken. I feel giutly to some degree because it's my own emotioned to drew me to the board to confess the pain and suffering of my stepfather. We took him out of the hospuitall this evening to feed the ducks in the city park. I was so amazed at how he has deteriated these past few weeks. He looks tired and confused by it all. As I left the hospital I found myself truly wishing that his life would end soon. Losing someone is a natuaral process, but seeing them like this is simply not right.

Thanks again dear readers. I am so moved by all of your posts.


CM

[mindbomb]

Canadian Mike, my toughts and prayers are with you and Ray. To ask for prayer and good thoughts from others, will only strengthen the love and support for him and that is the best thing you can ever do for anyone. May God bless your family in this time of need.

[Sticky69]

Mike, our prayers are with you at this difficult time.

Please don't be ashamed of your feelings. I lost my mother 8 weeks ago in very simular circumstances, i too had the same feelings as you, wishing that this could all be over.
Just being there will give him comfort, family is so important at times like these.
God bless you and your family.

[heelfreak]

I think of you and your family Mike

May the force be with you all

I will pray for Ray :sadcry:

God Bless you

heelfreak